Wattching Movies: 2019 Reviewed

So far I have seen 78 movies released domestically in 2019. That is a boatload of movies so in order to more easily compare them all I have sensibly grouped them into 17 random and arbitrary categories of varying sizes. I have also enlisted the assistance of my intrepid movie going companion Tess, pictured here at her very first Star Wars, to give additional feedback on this year's slate.

Without further ado, here's 2019:

77-71: Stop It, Stop It, It’s Already Dead

70-63: I’m Not Mad, Just Betrayed

62-61: Hallmark Hackery

60-56: This is Fine

55-48: Dumb Fun

47-37: Admirably Adequate

36: Good But Brutal Watch

35-25: Derivative Delights

24-23: Superb Separations

22: Technical Achievement Award

21-17: Outstanding Originals

16-12: Worthy Brand Extensions

11-9: Cats In The Cradle Classics

8: Gooey Goodness

7-5: Class Warfare Wonders

4-3: Wholesome Joys

2-1: Seedy Stunners

78-71: Stop It, Stop It, It’s Already Dead

78. Dark Phoenix (Rotten Tomatoes Score: 23%)

While Marvel Studios has recently shown the heights that can be reached in producing films set in an expansive comic universe, Fox’s final X-Men film presented us with the absolute nadir. All the biggest criticisms of comic book movies are present here. Characters you’ve barely spent any time with let alone connected with are given rushed arcs you won’t care about. Big name actors (Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Nicholas Hoult and Jessica Chastain) show up on autopilot to cash some checks so they can get back to making “real films.” It has some I’m sure expensive effects laden set pieces but not a single one is memorable. Rather than an epic and emotional conclusion with the fate of the universe in the balance (See #14), the X-Men saga ends with our heroes unconvincingly thwarting hordes of indiscriminate CGI bad guys on a train in a perfunctory battle with no visual flare.

Tess Thought: Just save your money, time, etc. and don’t see it.

77. Dumbo (RT: 46%)

A worst case scenario for Disney’s recent trend of remaking their beloved animated movies in live action. It takes a breezy 64 minute animated film largely based around talking animals and song and replaces them with a punishing nearly 2 hour runtime largely carried by child actors that couldn’t even act surprised if you told them back at a 1990 screening of Edward Scissorhands that this is what Tim Burton would be spending his time on 30 years later. For a concise encapsulation of the film’s wild tone incoherence, its main human character is a depressed amputated WWI veteran widower who just wants to get his old circus act back and at one point famous boxing announcer Michael Buffer shows up and says “Let’s get ready for Dumbo.”

Tess Thought: The only good thing to come out of this movie is my 1.5 year old nephew started making elephant noises while throwing his little arm in the air like a trunk.

76. The Upside (RT: 41%)

Along with his usual commitment to shouting and broad slapstick comedy, Kevin Hart also brings a Thomas Jane level of failed earnestness to his role as the unlikely ex-con caretaker of a quadriplegic Bryan Cranston. A much better buddy comedy comes to life for one short scene where the two men bond stoned at a hot dog stand which just makes it all the more disappointing the rest of it is such melodramatic tripe. However, the biggest crime of this movie is casting Nicole Kidman in an absolutely do nothing role as Cranston’s put upon assistant. The character exists for the film to just kind of vaguely shrug at a possible “Will They/Won’t They” relationship. Casting an Academy Award winner hot off an Emmy win for a multifaceted turn in Big Little Lies in the role is a disgrace.

Tess Thought: The story is fundamentally bad, but Kevin Hart is always good for some laughs and is just so lovable it’s hard to completely hate the movie. 76 feels a little low for Kev.

75. Men In Black: International (RT: 23%)

One of the most forgettable movies I have ever seen. A sci-fi action/comedy with no good jokes, no exciting sequences, 90’s level CGI and a twist ending it takes roughly two minutes of screen time to predict. Most disheartening of all, Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth display none of the chemistry they possessed in their previous collaboration in Thor: Ragnarok. Will Smith agreeing to a 3rd Bad Boys film but not even stopping by for a quick cameo or end credit rap song in this piece of trash should tell you all you need to know.

Tess Thought: Objectively the most disappointing movie of 2019.

74. Brightburn (RT: 57%)

This film is built entirely around the intriguing premise of what would happen if Superman crash landed on Earth but was intent on being its overlord rather than its benevolent protector? Unfortunately the best answer that writers Brian and Mark Gunn and Director David Yarovesky could come up with is he would commit grisly murders of anyone who slighted him as soon as he learned of his powers. Rather than building a more twisty or flushed out story it appears as though everyone was content to just spend the entirety of the film’s limited budget and on gruesome makeup and bloody special effects for some impressively gory but low suspense kills.

Tess Thought: Not much to this movie other than gory killings which I can’t watch, so did I even watch this movie? Probably not. Eyes open for a few minutes maybe.

73. Noelle (RT: 53%)

Essentially a Disney Channel Original Movie with a slightly bloated budget I assume was mostly used to lure in overqualified stars Anna Kendrick and Bill Hader. I hope whatever funds Mr. Hader got playing an overwhelmed Santa Claus that disappears to a nondescript shopping mall in Arizona will be used to help fund more episodes of his passion project HBO television series Barry. In fact I am going to use the majority of the space in this review to instead recommend to you. Anna Kendrick doesn’t sing a single song in this movie. There, I saved you 100 minutes that you could better use watching 4 hilarious episodes of Barry. Barry has a zany yet moving and Emmy worthy Henry Winkler in it. Noelle has Shirley MacLaine whom I honestly am worried must have some sort of exorbitant medical expenses she’s paying off.

Tess Thought: This is the worst movie that Anna Kendrick has made. Maybe now people will show Trolls some of the respect it deserves. (Editor's note: Trolls is also bad)

72. Hellboy (RT: 17%)

This franchise reboot is a movie a 13 year old boy would dream of: gnarly demons and monsters getting in gory fights with characters cracking wise in between while heavy metal blares across the soundtrack. Unfortunately it also felt as though that same 13 year old was actually put in charge of making the movie. The plot is near incomprehensible jumping from location to location and idea to idea like our aforementioned teen forgot to take his Adderall. It takes a lot for me to not recommend a movie that opens with its title character fighting a lucha libre vampire but this film managed to pull that off.

Tess Thought: More importantly, David Harbour is Red Guardian in Black Widow on May 1st.

71. The Dirt (RT: 39%)

This film effectively captures the spirit of Motley Crue by which I mean it is loud, gratuitous, obnoxious and sophomoric to a fault all while remaining deeply deeply cheesy. Director Jeff Tremaine is most well-known as a co-creator and director of the Jackass franchise and he intermittently brings some of that group’s chaotic energy to the proceedings but for the most part, has created a music biopic so shallow and by the numbers that it unwittingly slips into Walk Hard like self-parody. Unless you are a diehard fan of hair metal, to quote that much superior film, “You don’t want no part of this shit.”

Tess Thought: Luckily I didn’t have any part of this.

70-63: I’m Not Mad, Just Betrayed

70. Little (RT: 47%)

Unfortunately this film fell victim to the plight of many studio comedies in that nearly all its best jokes were featured in the trailer. What was not featured in the trailer however was how much of the movie would be about the politics of middle school popularity. Issa Rae has a natural charisma and comedic charm but she largely takes a back seat to a generic “it’s cool to be yourself” story put on by the tween side of the cast. This makes sense given 14 year old co-star Marsai Martin initially came up with the story and was given an executive producer credit but it makes for a far less enjoyable film than the reverse Big hijinks taking place on the periphery.

Tess Thought: Issa Rae deserved better than this and will hopefully redeem herself in 2020.

69. Pet Semetary (RT: 57%)

This Stephen King adaptation starts out strongly as dread oozes out of its foreboding atmosphere but around the halfway point it deviates from its source material and absolutely collapses. Trading psychological trauma for cheap slasher thrills and jump scares the film becomes a bloody and ugly mess. Jason Clarke portrayal of Dr. Louis Creed slides recklessly from haunted to unhinged leaving audiences to only sympathize with the underutilized John Lithgow as the kindly old neighbor and the underdeveloped Mrs. Creed played by Amy Seimetz. The less said about the atrocious ending the better.

Tess Thought: Not a fan and have been trying to get the image of the *spoiler* young girl’s stapled head out of my mind for quite some time now.

68. Glass (RT: 37%)

Director M. Night Shyamalan pulled off one of his career’s greatest surprises with his 2016 film Split which was not only a highly enjoyable out of nowhere box office hit but also, as its final shocking moments revealed, a stealth sequel to his underappreciated 2000 film Unbreakable. With the juice of Split’s success, Shyamalan was able to get Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis back in the fold for a proper continuation of his long planned superhero trilogy. Boyhowdy did he take all that built up excitement and drown it in a puddle. While Jackson’s titular Mr. Glass remains comatose most of the movie, Bruce Willis acts as if his character is supposed to be similarly afflicted, sleepwalking through his lines and providing none of the nuance or passion found in his previous turn as David Dunn. Jackson snaps to life for one enjoyable sequence and James McAvoy gives another scenery chewing performance but Shyamalan gets far too high on his renewed success and concludes the film with one of his patented twists. The most startling part about the out of nowhere reveal is that it manages to make the entire plodding film proceeding it somehow feel even more pointless.

Tess Thought: A flop of a conclusion to the trilogy. It’s worth a watch if you’ve seen Unbreakable or Split but is a frustrating follow-up.

67. Rambo: Last Blood (RT: 27%)

This sendoff to a beloved character made me very sad. Sad not for anything in the film but because it was so clearly a passion project of Sylvester Stallone that he couldn’t manage to get any talented collaborators on board with in front of or behind the camera. The film is ugly to look at not just for its explicit and grisly violence but for its straight to video level camera work, sets and aesthetics. Outside of Stallone the acting is quite rough, though I doubt they were helped much by a dodgy script that has a previously stoic John Rambo spouting out dad jokes and clichéd fatherly wisdom to his housekeeper’s granddaughter. The end of the film does have an enjoyable Home Alone from hell style sequence as Rambo gruesomely defends his booby trapped ranch from a ruthless Mexican cartel. Unfortunately that small thrill serves as little payoff for the slog it takes to get there.

Tess Thought: Last Blood has a 27% critics score but a 82% audience score and that feels about right. It’s not great by any means, but I liked it.

66. Gemini Man (RT 26%)

Yet another long developing project gone horribly awry. Originally pitched in 1997 the project had bounced around Hollywood for over 20 years waiting for de-aging technology to catch up to produce its vision of an aging action star facing down his younger self. Academy Award winning director Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Life of Pi) and legendary visual effects studio Weta Digital (Lord of the Rings, Avatar) seemed as capable of hands as any to pick up the task of having Will Smith face off against his well-known Fresh Prince era self. Sad to report I wish everyone had maybe waited a bit longer or tried to beef up the script a bit in the meantime. The effects are fairly hit or miss throughout looking admittedly stunning in some solid action sequences but Playstation 2 level laughably inhuman in others. The undercooked story likewise vacillates between gripping moments and rote freshmen philosophy speeches about nature versus nurture that give little justification for all the cost and effort put into a surprisingly limited string of action set pieces.

Tess Thought: Will Smith has been busy lately. They can’t all be winners.

65. The Addams Family (RT 44%)

I’m going to be honest with you, writing this three months after I saw the movie, I have almost zero recall of the plot or message of this movie. I was going to say this was another bloated film in need of editing and was shocked to find its run time was less than 90 minutes because it felt like it took forever. The only thing I really remember is enjoying Nick Kroll’s demented Uncle Fester who gets maybe 5 minutes of screen time and has some lines and moments that hint at a darker, funnier movie that could have been. As much as I love both Oscar Isaac and Charlize Theron neither of them do anything to even remotely challenge Raul Julia and Angelica Houston as the definitive screen versions of Gomez and Morticia Adams.

Tess Thought: It was cute. In terms of spooky animation I would rank it above both Coraline and Hotel Transylvania.

64. 21 Bridges (RT: 51%)

Chadwick Boseman, fresh off his global success as Black Panther, steps into the badass sounding role of a cop notorious for killing cop killers in what I thought would be a fun throwback crime thriller like you find airing on repeat on TNT and Mel Gibson starred in every other year in the 90s. Instead the film is very by the numbers and its one outlandish flourish, closing the titular 21 bridges off the island of Manhattan, doesn’t really factor much at all in to the proceedings. I knew producers likely don’t spring for Academy Award winner J.K. Simmons in an early throwaway bit part so my twist tingle kicked in real early as well on this one. It wasn’t terrible and has a couple good shootouts but I expected more given its solid cast including Sienna Miller who goes all in on her “Hey I’m walkin’ here” New York accent.

Tess Thought: Tim Riggins is in here so it’s an absolute must see. No other exciting things happen but that’s ok, Texas forever.

63. The Beach Bum (RT: 56%)

Director Harmony Kormine has a real eye for vibrant and neon soaked debauchery and Matthew McConaughey has never had more fun playing a whacked out funhouse mirror version of his own whimsical stoner mystique but unfortunately no one really wrote a cohesive story to put either of these things to good use. The film conveys a loose critic about the extreme leniency with which we treat those seen to have artistic gifts. Perhaps Kormine’s message here could have been passed along to his producers who appear to have greenlit him wandering around Miami to film sporadically amusing and seemingly improvising drug addled shenanigans with Martin Lawrence, Snoop Dogg, Zac Efron and the OG Beach Bum Jimmy Buffet. A seemingly slumming it Jonah Hill also finds his way into the proceedings but acquits himself well affecting a patently absurd molasses dripping drawl that did bring a smile to my face.

Tess Thought: I had to make Ryan stop this and finish it on his own later.

62-61: Hallmark Hackery

62. Brittany Runs a Marathon (RT: 88%)

It’s a relatively fine film so I can see why many would enjoy it but the whole thing just felt very formulaic to me. It hits all the beats of a typical underdog gets their life in order story with just some added vulgarity and crassness. It felt like the Hallmark Channel had tried to produce Trainwreck right down to its discount budget casting. The filmmakers even include a token sassy gay friend from rom-coms of yore as a running partner. Star Jillian Bell is a tremendous comedic talent and certainly put her all into a rare lead role undergoing a fairly substantial body transformation and hitting many of the key dramatic notes. I hope she can take a reel away from this to find her way into some bigger and better productions.

Tess Thought: Jillian Bell’s Brittany is so relatable and easy to root for. Hallmark wishes they could produce something this likeable and charming.

61. Last Christmas (RT 47%)

A fairly standard grouch falls in love and discovers the true spirit of Christmas story that you would find proliferating the Hallmark Channel and the Netflix homepage each holiday season. The only real differentiation comes in the form of its higher rent cast and the money spent to the secure the rights to George Michael’s dynamite song catalogue. Along with its generic holiday rom-com plot, the film’s climactic twist is drained of most of its impact by being telegraphed in the trailer and the chorus of the namesake song. Fresh off a divisive Game of Thrones finale, Emilia Clarke does display a magnetic likeability that makes it easy to see her steadily cashing checks as the most enjoyable part of middling romantic comedies for years to come.

Tess Thought: The twist completely ruined an otherwise decent rom-com.

60-56: This is Fine

60. Fyre Fraud (RT 79%) Documentary

The lesser of the two Fyre Fest documentaries that took the internet by storm at the start of 2019. This one secured the involvement of Billy McFarland the lead fraudster behind the disastrous festival, but doesn’t really get him to say or reveal anything that couldn’t be done without dubiously cutting the conman another check. It was neat to consume both documentaries in quick succession but there’s a lot of overlap between the two and if you don’t want to make a massive time commit, the Netflix version (see #41) is the zippier and better produced version.

Tess Thought: Opted out of the Fyre Fest docs.

59. Aladdin (RT: 57%)

Guy Ritchie, who I assume was hard up for dough following his limey grimy big budget King Arthur film bombing, ends up an unlikely choice to hop on Disney’s live action remake assembly line. Ritchie’s directorial skillset fits well in staging some of Aladdin’s parkour filled street rat activities but don’t bail him out when trying to recreate the magic of show stopping tunes like “Prince Ali” and “Friend Like Me.” The film’s new Aladdin, Mena Massoud, asserts himself better with the rehashed material oozing charm and his energetic performance is easily the film’s highlight. Will Smith’s Genie wisely avoids trying to replicate Robin Williams manic riffing but the film missteps by padding his role out with an unnecessary romance subplot. Similarly Naomi Scott’s Jasmine is given a larger role in the proceedings but saddled with an out of place “Let It Go” biting dud of a new song “Speechless.” I will never quite understand the appeal of these live action remakes and certainly not the need to add 30 minutes to all of their run times.

Tess Thought: They did some weird stuff with the Genie’s story, gave Jasmine a friend who didn’t really fit in, and made Jafar so lame I forgot he was even in the movie.

58. Yesterday (RT: 63%)

It doesn’t bode well for your romantic comedy when I end up actively rooting for the leads not to end up together which was very much the case here despite the movie’s charms and vastly overqualified director Danny Boyle’s craftsmanship. Himesh Patel’s Jack Malik comes off as a pretentious loser with a preposterously kind and understanding lady friend played by Lily James that for whatever reason is infatuated with him. This is even before he becomes a wildly successful musician performing well staged and entertaining renditions of The Beatles catalogue after a freak accident has left him as seemingly the only person on earth with any memory of their existence. He also starts hanging out with Ed Sheeran surprisingly often stretching a cameo into an overextended supporting role. Fame of course changes Jack and he becomes an even bigger dick before learning some sort of lesson I don’t really recall because I was so mad Boyle stuck to the paint by numbers love story.

Tess Thought: It was sweet and had a lot of good music. I’m a sucker for a good paint by number.

57. Abominable (RT: 81%)

Dreamworks Animation took a break from production on Shrek 5 For Fighting and Kung Fu P4nd4 to put out a rare original work. Unfortunately the film does little to justify the studio branching away from its bread and butter sequels and adaptations. A tween centered quest to return a magical creature to its homeland while evading capture by scientists with dubious intentions isn’t exactly groundbreaking storytelling. Even the film’s admittedly adorable Yeti Everest looks suspiciously similar to Toothless from Dreamwork’s How To Train Your Dragon franchise. The film’s inner city Shanghai and Chinese countryside settings do open up some uniqueness but fear not, there is still a generic annoying younger kid sidekick. Abominable is not without its eye catching moments largely centered around Everest’s sound based powers but its Dreamworkian instincts leave it all too keen to hit the jukebox and cue up Coldplay’s “Fix You” when it needs to hit its emotional beats.

Tess Thought: They made the cutest character in Yi’s grandma and did absolutely nothing with her.

56. Always Be My Maybe (RT: 89%)

This film garnered a lot of hype as the best reviewed of a slew of recent Netflix Romantic Comedies. Outside of an uproarious cameo appearance from Keanu Reeves as an exaggerated version of himself I couldn’t find much that sets it apart from an always crowded Nora Ephron indebted field of mediocrity. Randall Park and Ali Wong are both likeable leads with good comic timing but the script doesn’t have many memorable jokes and the story doesn’t throw any substantial obstacles in their inevitable path to becoming more than friends. When Harry Met Sally came out 30 years ago, aping its style should no longer be considered a breath of fresh air.

Tess Thought: This review is spot-on.

55-48: Dumb Fun

55. Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (RT: 84%)

I found this film more amusing than it had any right to be. By shifting Dora to her teen years it takes a lightly meta approach to the absurdities of its intrepid young explorer. Isabela Moner plays Dora with sincerity and the wide eyed optimism associated with the character so well it keeps the film from becoming the lazy slapstick gag fest that many Nickelodeon productions are. Unfortunately most of the cast plays the film a bit too cartoonishly particularly Eugenio Derbez as a travel companion claiming to be a friend of Dora’s parents. Speaking of Dora’s parents, I wish the films plot hadn’t sidelined them for much of its runtime as Michael Pena and Eva Longoria are both perfectly cast delights.

Tess Thought: Don’t let him fool you, it is not amusing.

54. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (RT: 42%)

As someone that accompanied his father to Blockbuster to rent countless variations of Godzilla drop kicking other giant monsters, I am the core audience for this film and I left pretty pleased. The human elements of this story aren’t very good with a nonsense plot and characters that not even Coach Taylor can make you genuinely care about. But the Kaiju fight scenes were pretty top notch. They even drop in a bit of the old score which got a few goosebumps out of me. Bradley Whitford seemed to know what kind of goofy movie he was in and I wish he’d shared it with more of the cast so it wasn’t quite so tiresome waiting to get back to Godzilla punching a three headed dragon or laser blasting a giant pterodactyl. Let them fight.

Tess Thought: Coach Eric Taylor made me care wholeheartedly about the nonsense plot.

53. Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (RT: 78%)

Much like the series of short stories the film is based on, the big draw here is the visuals. Director Andre Ovredal and his effects team unsettlingly recreated many of the classic characters like Harold the living scarecrow and the Pale Lady. They also create an inventive and terrifying new creation known as the Jangly Man, who in one of a few underdeveloped references to the film’s Vietnam era setting reassembles himself in various configurations from dismembered body parts. The film walks a thin line between giving young audiences something scarier than a children’s movie without feeling just like a watered down adult horror. It mostly succeeds in this manner and I could see it functioning as a bridge of sort for the spook inclined not quite ready for more gruesome R-rated horrors.

Tess Thought: I can live my whole life without those visuals. Don’t need to see this.

52. Detective Pikachu (69%)

Ryan Reynolds is very fun as the voice of the titular detective Pokemon. Justice Smith and Kathryn Newton are decidedly less fun in grating performances as the young adult humans accompanying Pikachu on his quest to find his old partner. The plot is more outright dumb than twisty with a particularly nonsensical finale but the Pokemon are rendered well and impressively inserted into the real world. I wish it had a few more scenes like a particularly inspired encounter with the mute and mischievous Mr. Mime to highlight more of Reynold’s gifted riffing and the personality of the Pokemon that are its main draw.

Tess Thought: I have never seen worse young actors than Justice Smith and Kathryn Newton in this movie. Recast those two, and it actually could’ve been good.

51. Stuber (RT: 42%)

In a field increasingly handed over to genre pictures, Stuber manages to scratch the itch of an old school buddy action comedy. A lot of the jokes are hit or miss but I found the hit ratio and delivery pace high enough to offset the duds. Dave Bautista plays a macho cop and continues to show the surprisingly strong comedic chops first displayed in the Guardians of the Galaxy series. He and Silicon Valley’s Kumail Nanjiani, playing Bautista’s uber driver/unwitting accomplice, bounce off each other well in a classic odd couple partnership. The story is stupid but that more or less comes with the territory so you don’t think too much about it. My biggest gripe is that the film could have delivered a little better on its action half, largely wasting the supreme physical talents of The Raid’s Iko Uwais with some mediocre quick cut shaky cam fight scenes.

Tess Thought: Dave Bautista should stick to being Drax.

50. The Lion King (RT: 53%)

This was the best of the Disney live-action remakes that came out in 2019 which is a bit like being named the best Detroit Lion. It’s a bit dubious to even call it “live-action” given that every single shot but one was generated entirely using digital effects. However you want to classify it, the film does look fantastic with the feel of a particularly musical episode of Planet Earth. Outside of its impressive visual effects, Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen’s Timon and Pumba are the standout of the remake. The pair are given the most deviation from the original’s script and dare I say more entertaining than their animated counterparts. However, nearly every other cast member is unfortunately a bit of a step down from the original. Chiwetel Ejiofor fares poorest having to step in for the preening and fittingly cartoonish Jeremy Irons as Scar. As is often the case with the “live-action” Disney remakes, the musical numbers are just not as vibrant and lively as their animated counterparts. Scar’s big number “Beware” in particular feels quite neutered but others like “Hakuna Matata” and “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” do still have enough pop to get the job done.

Tess Thought: I hate that I didn’t love it. Don’t watch the original right before watching this one.

49. Zombie Land 2: Double Tap (RT: 68%)

Delivers exactly what you would expect if you enjoyed the 2009 original. There isn’t much in the way of character development or a compelling plot but it hits all the beats it needs to as it moves from set piece to set piece. It’s now distinctly overqualified main cast (Emma Stone, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg) all seem to revel in the opportunity to banter and blow up some zombies with the old crew. The new additions to the cast are a mixed bag. Zoey Deutch’s exaggerated dumb blonde character grew tiresome for me but Rosario Dawson has the comedic and badass bona fides to fit in well with the original zombie slayers. Having Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch show up as mirror images of Harrelson and Eisenberg was good for a few laughs. Be sure to stick through the credits for a call back to the original’s finest gag.

Tess Thought: It is a lot of fun. Watch the original before watching this one.

48. Jumanji: The Next Level (RT: 71%)

Another sequel that delivers pretty much exactly what you’re looking for if you liked the previous entry, no more, no less. The action isn’t anything to write home about and Rory McCann is a non-entity as the film’s new big bad but that comes with the territory. The crux of the film’s appeal comes from the humorous body swaps it deploys and the added wrinkle of septuagenarian cast members Danny DeVito and Danny Glover allows the performers to try out their best old man voices to varying success. Not surprisingly comedic performers Jack Black, Kevin Hart and Awkwafina fair best with their various impressions. The Rock struggles a bit on this end breaking out a shaky Jersey accent he may have borrowed from the 21 Bridges cast in order to approximate DeVito. However, his smolder face and video game physique are once again put to good use in serviceable Indiana Jones-lite adventure sequences.

Tess Thought: Jack Black stole the show in Welcome to the Jungle, and they wasted him for the first half of The Next Level. But all in all a good sequel (threequel?). I will continue to watch as many Jumanji's as they’ll give me.

47-37: Admirably Adequate

47. Missing Link (RT: 89%)

Missing Link shockingly won the Golden Globe for Best Animated Feature against some heavy favorites from Disney but it does have some natural appeal that helps make the outcome more palatable. The animation is as stunning as you would expect coming from Laika (Coraline, Kubo and the Two Strings) who has quickly emerged as a threat to supplant Aardman Studios as the preeminent name in stop motion animation. The story is nothing to write home about but a subdued Zach Galifianakis gives a charming vocal performance as a soft spoken Bigfoot in search of his family. The script has both solid verbal jokes and some enjoyable slapstick gags which combine to form an all around solid family friendly road trip comedy.

Tess Thought: #NotMyBestAnimatedFeature

Along with seeing Missing Link and Abominable, I also met the Frozeti. A big year for yeti content

46. Judy (RT: 82%)

As with many biopics, this is definitively a one woman show as Renee Zellweger pulls all the stops to impersonate a teetering on the brink Judy Garland. Rather than a cradle to the grave retelling the film locks in on a tumultuous series of performances in London during the last year of Garland’s life. There’s nothing really groundbreaking here in its oft told tale of an incredible talent destroyed by their own vices. The film has frequent flashbacks to a young MGM era Garland detailing the harsh conditions she performed under and the cause of her substance abuse. Both these scenes and the film itself get a bit repetitive as most of what it has to say is accomplished in the first hour. Zellweger is as good as advertised though and nails both the musical performances and portraying the fundamentally broken person struggling to sporadically deliver them.

Tess Thought: I can’t name a single other movie Zellweger is in, but she nailed this one.

45. Late Night (RT: 80%)

An ambitious work place comedy that bites off just a bit more than it can chew. The film throws a lot at the wall taking on Affirmative Action, the “Me Too” movement, slut shaming, the shifting digital media landscape, and tosses in a spouse with a debilitating illness for good measure. This makes things occasionally clunky but a likeable cast manage to keep things from grinding to a halt. Emma Thompson is a natural as a domineering late night talk show host cut from the same cloth as Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Screenwriter Mindy Kaling isn’t as dynamic but is likeable in the role of an eager to please staff writer impractically hired straight from a job at a chemical plant. There is an undercooked rom-com along the edges but you can largely ignore that. The real focus is on the talk show and the film has a Sorkian reverence for comedy and late night television that is a little corny but mostly works.

Tess Thought: Torn between appreciating the moral of the story and hating what they did to get there.

44. Triple Frontier (RT: 71%)

For me, this is the platonic ideal of a perfectly serviceable movie. In fact, I based the entirety of this year’s rankings based on how much I liked a movie more or less than this one. A grizzled The Treasure of the Sierra Madre riff for the energy drink guzzling Call of Duty set. The middle aged macho cast led by Ben Affleck and Oscar Isaac exude extreme divorced dad energy as a team of mercenaries pulling the proverbial one last job. It doesn’t do anything game changing but it doesn’t have any glaring deficiencies either. The acting is good and the action is well staged particularly the propulsive centerpiece heist/raid of a drug lord’s compound. You could make better choices with two hours of your time but a lot of worse ones as well. Throw it on the next time you have to bond with your stepdad Todd.

Tess Thought: Definitely worth a watch if you’re bored and love Oscar Isaac, which everyone does.

43. Hobbs and Shaw (RT: 67%)

Jason Statham and Dwanye Johnson are some of the last of a dying breed of bona fide action superstars. Director David Leitch is an artisan of combat staging and directed the stylish ground level action spectacles John Wick and Atomic Blonde along with having some big budget experience with the enjoyable Deadpool 2. These names along with having impossibly cool Idris Elba flexing as a cybernetically enhanced bad guy referring to himself as the “Black Superman” had me locked, loaded and ready to crush a big ole bucket of popcorn as soon as I saw the trailer. Sad to report that while it checked a lot of my boxes and I did indeed crush a large bucket, I still walked out a little disappointed. I could not tell you how this movie possibly ended up being 136 minutes long but I have to suspect it strained under some franchise demands of its Universal overlords. While Leitch’s combat scenes remain strong, he seemed a bit out of his element with some of the more notably effects aided vehicle and explosion heavy action of the film’s back half. Mission Impossible: Fallout scene stealer Vanessa Kirby shows off some strong action aptitude playing Statham’s MI6 agent sister but somehow gets shoehorned into a flirtatious romance with Johnson with whom she has less than zero chemistry. As best exemplified by a pair of surprising A-list cameos that overextend, the film is a lot of fun but could have used more judicious cuts.

Tess Thought: If it had been a good 30-45 minutes shorter it would’ve been solid.

42. IT Chapter 2 (RT:63%)

Bill Hader is the standout part of this movie which is no surprise given how adept he is at playing both comedy and drama in his amazing HBO show Barry. Hader deals with a goofy pale bad guy in this one as well but unfortunately it’s a demon clown from space that eats children and not the delightful Chechen mobster Noho Hank. The film is decent if overlong but doesn’t work nearly as well as the first one even though I’d say Barry Season 2 was even better than its phenomenal first season. ITC2 goes for a few too many laughs that undercut many of its frights which is not nearly as effective as how Barry uses humor to explore dark existential questions about human nature. Barry can be streamed on HBO GO and has been renewed for a third season which should premiere later this year.

Tess Thought: I chose to save the $10 this day and to continue to sleep at night.

41. Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (RT: 92%) Documentary

As mentioned in entry #60, this is the superior of the two Fyre Fest documentaries. The story of the failed music festival is certainly wild enough to warrant the attention of two competing productions and this film gives a zippy overview of the whole fantastically corrupt and incompetent affair. The meme friendly story of event producer Andy King securing water for the festival is worth the price of admission alone. Just as it was morally dubious to involve Billy McFarland in the making of the Hulu documentary, here equally scummy Jerry Media, who were responsible for promoting the festival, serve as co-producers limiting the remove of bias from this feature as well.

Tess Thought: I’m not sure why there needed to be two of these.

40. How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (RT: 91%)

I picked on Dreamworks’ penchant for sequels earlier but the HTTYD series has been consistently solid. Over three films the cast of characters have bloated and the story strains a bit with subplots to keep them all in on the action. Some of these subplots work, some are Jonah Hill trying to get with Jay Baruchel’s mom. At its core though, the focus remains on family and the importance of both those you’re born into and those you make. The animation here is gorgeous as always and the story brings the trilogy to a bittersweet yet satisfying conclusion. Along the way it delivers the laughs, feels and dynamic aerial action the series is known for as well

Tess Thought: The movies in this trilogy blur together, but they’re all very ok.

39. Frozen 2 (RT: 77%)

I don’t think any of the songs are quite as good or catchy as those on the original soundtrack but I thought the story and overall film was much improved. Rather than cashing an easy check writer/co-director Jennifer Lee takes some interesting risks here with a darker story about legacy, ancestral sin, and finding one’s place in the world. That is some heavy stuff for a cartoon with a talking snowman. Don’t worry, they do still find space to tackle some mandatory love story elements including giving Kristoff a groan worthy 80’s power ballad complete with all the cheesy music video staging that entails. The film does solidify that the beautiful visuals of Disney’s digital animation division have become nearly interchangeable with their Pixar counterparts and the storytelling may one day get there as well.

Tess Thought: Some Things Never Change is equally as good and catchy as those on the original soundtrack, but the goodness and catchiness of the tunes drop off hard after that. The movie as a whole, however, was just as good as the first, which is a huge feat.

38. Spies in Disguise (RT: 76%)

This animated film admirably stretches the one joke premise of turning a suave secret agent into a pigeon way further and with far more success than you could ever imagine. The spot on voice casting proves to be the film’s biggest coup. Will Smith has about as much cocky swagger as any actor you could find for the spy role and years of reading his son’s tweets prepared him for the many exasperated outbursts he does here. Tom Holland brings the same lovable manic dork in over his head energy that has made him a beloved Peter Parker. Similarly Ben Mendelsohn has a perfect seething voice for a somewhat under used menacing nemesis. The gags are pretty good and it has some zany Looney Tunesian action scenes. A funky soundtrack curated by Mark Ronson keeps things moving breezily enough that you can overlook its shortcomings like giving DJ Khaled multiple lines he delivers like he attended 2k’s Voice Acting Academy.

Tess Thought: Will Smith is the only person who could make a spy pigeon movie this amusing. Thanks James Bowyer for making us realize we needed to see it.

37. Rocketman (RT: 89%)

Taron Egerton sings the hell out of most of the hits in this Elton John biopic. As you all I’m sure are aware, Elton has an incredibly deep catalogue of bangers and the film manages to squeeze 17 of them into nonstop musical performances. While these numbers are thrillingly staged, recreate many of Elton’s most famous flamboyant outfits and take full advantage of the medium to throw some fantastical elements a potentially more fitting Broadway production couldn’t easily include, the sheer number of them does compact the narrative a bit. Major turning points occur in a brief minute or two of dialogue before it’s off to the next big number that has to carry the majority of the emotional weight. Don’t get me wrong, they’re fantastic songs covered and arranged brilliantly so they usually do the trick but it does make things feel a bit rushed despite a lengthy runtime. Fitting a personality as large as Sir John’s, the emphasis here is on theatrics which makes for a spectacle filled watch but reduces most figures in Elton’s life to one dimensional foils. I’d be remiss if I did not give a special shoutout to the hair and makeup department as they recreated Elton’s progressively receding hairline with artisan precision.

Tess Thought: We watched this the same day as Judy which was a bad idea because they were essentially the same thing, but I liked Judy better.

36: Good But Brutal Watch

36. Leaving Neverland (RT: 98%) Documentary

A harrowing 4 hour watch detailing in damning and graphic detail how Michael Jackson preyed upon two young boys. The techniques and style are run of the mill but that just keeps the focus firmly on the extensively detailed story of how such heinous activity could take place. Director Dan Reed uses old videos, recordings and pictures to show how Jackson would indoctrinate himself with families before isolating and manipulating his young victims for years. Through extensive interviews with the families, the documentary goes to great length to detail the irreparable damage Jackson’s physical and psychological abuse did and how it still impacts them to this day. HBO split this up into two parts and you really do need to take that breather when watching as you come to grips with all they went through.

Tess Thought: I saw Five Feet Apart instead.

35-25: Derivative Delights

35. Captain Marvel (RT: 78%)

By now Marvel is a well-oiled machine for pumping out superhero origin stories. This movie doesn’t stray much from their tried and true formula but has some notable flourishes to distinguish itself. First and foremost is having a long overdue female lead protagonist, played with a sarcastic wit and spunky charm by Brie Larson. The second is making it a period piece set in the long ago 90’s complete with Blockbuster Video, pay phones, and No Doubt on the soundtrack. This also means digitally de-aging Samuel L. Jackson to his Jules era self and giving him a substantial co-star role as a two eyed and bushy tailed Nick Fury. The film is at its best when utilizing the mismatched buddy cop energy between Larson and Jackson. Directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck play around with their amnesia afflicted heroine in order to shake up the chronology with flashbacks to pivotal moments rather than a straight forward A to B narrative which keeps things a bit fresher. They also scored brownie points with me by making good use of one of my favorite character actors Ben Mendelsohn who gets to both play around with his own typecasting and utilize his native Australian accent for a change.

Tess Thought: Captain Marvel fell a little flat for me because it was up against Avengers and Spider-Man. Nonetheless, Brie Larson’s Marvel proves to be a great addition to the squad.

34. Long Shot (RT: 81%)

This is my highest rated Rom-Com of the year and it rose to the top largely on the weight of the unlikely and palpable chemistry between the two leads. Charlize Theron is one of the most beautiful women on the planet who exudes a cunning intellect and Seth Rogen has the personality and laugh of a stoned Muppet with the physique to match but damn it they make you believe it would work. For a story centered on a potential first female president, the script only does some light poking at anything that could be considered biting political satire but it does contain solid laughs throughout. O’Shea Jackson Jr. charms in the thankless best friend role and director Jonathan Levine smoothly injects similar sneaky levels of heart as his previous Rogen collaborations (50/50, The Night Before). Overall more than enough goodwill is generated to overcome the climatic reveal of the double entendre nature of its title.

Tess Thought: Rom-Coms took a big step in the right direction here. Hopefully this continues and one day “rose to the top” won’t mean 34/78.

33. Motherless Brooklyn (RT: 62%)

This movie could have used a tighter edit with its bloated 144 minute run time but its twisty noir mystery that somehow got me invested in urban development planning and across the board solid work from a loaded cast kept me engaged. Edward Norton performs admirably in a triple duty role of writer, director, and lead actor giving a showy performance as a Tourette syndrome afflicted private investigator. Alec Baldwin creates a menacing peripheral villain, Willem Dafoe is at his bug eyed best trying to give Norton the pieces to the puzzle for his own personal vendetta and most shockingly, Bruce Willis even shows some signs of life in a limited role as Norton’s boss and mentor. It’s highly unlikely to ever enter the pantheon of gumshoe classics but it will scratch that itch.

Tess Thought: Somehow missed this one.

32. Hustlers (RT: 87%)

Writer/Director Lorene Scafaria pulls a lot of pages from the Scorsese playbook but there are few better places to pull from when staging a darkly comedic crime drama. Jennifer Lopez is the main draw here giving a commanding supporting performance as Ramona Vega, the den mother of a group of NYC strippers. In a mildly muddled message about empowerment, Romona and her gang of largely one note cohorts use dubious means to extract funds from the finance bro types that frequent their club and put countless Americans in dire straits during the 2007 financial crisis. Lopez captivates every time she is on screen in case anyone ever began to question her lasting sex appeal or the gifted acting chops she demonstrated 20 years ago in Out of Sight before an extended string of fairly disposable rom-com roles. Constance Wu isn’t quite as dynamic in the lead role but holds her own as a naïve young stripper Ramona takes under her wing.

Tess Thought: “Fairly disposable” shows that someone has clearly not seen The Wedding Planner, Maid in Manhattan, or What to Expect What You’re Expecting.

31. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part (RT: 85%)

The 2014 original is one of my all-time favorite animated films so creating a worthwhile follow up was no small task for returning writers Phil Lord and Chris Miller but it mostly sticks the landing. Filling in for Lord and Miller in the director chair, Mike Mitchell brings his Trolls experience over to a more musically inclined adventure. None of the songs are going to displace “Everything Is Awesome” as the premier LEGO Tune but “Catchy Song” does offer up a snazzy T-Pain earworm. The film isn’t nearly as inventive or funny as the original, particularly in some sitcomy live action scenes taking place in the human world revealed late in the previous film. Chris Pratt however remains remarkably well cast in what to me is his definitive film role as dimwitted Lego everyman Emmet. Pratt takes on a dual role this time amusingly spoofing his own big screen persona as galaxy defending space cowboy and raptor trainer Rex Dangervest. He remains the much needed big gooey heart at the center of the gag and reference packed adventure.

Tess Thought: I really liked this leaving the theater but have completely forgotten the entire thing except for T-Pain’s involvement.

30. Good Boys (RT: 79% )

The premise and appeal of this comedy is incredibly simple, Superbad but with preteens. Like Superbad, it uses its crass and vulgar humor to smuggle in a heartfelt message about accepting how friendships change as you grow older. Keith L. Williams steals the show as Lucas, the most hilariously naïve and rule abiding of the three boys. The boy’s friendship feels genuine and the script largely doesn’t fall into the trap of giving them adult jokes no real 12 year old would say for pure shock value. The boys swear and talk about adult subject matter but in the way actual 12 year old boys do, with misuse and half understanding of the terms. There’s nothing revelatory here but I laughed consistently throughout its meager run time.

Tess Thought: We are still quoting/laughing about Keith L. Williams almost a year later.

29. Doctor Sleep (RT: 77%)

A decades later sequel to The Shining very much in the vein of Blade Runner: 2049 where it invokes the spirit of and builds upon the original but has its own story to tell. In fact, the weakest part of the film is probably when it returns to the Overlook Hotel made infamous by Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 classic. Prior to that excursion it tells a compelling story of a man haunted by the ghosts of his past both figurative and literal. Rebecca Ferguson is magnetic and menacing as Rose the Hat, the leader of a group of psychic vampires that feed on the souls of individual who possess “the shining” (psychic abilities). Doesn’t that sound wild? Somehow writer/director Mike Flanagan finds a way to mostly strike a balance between that fantastical horror plot and the fairly grounded recovery and redemption story of a bottomed out alcoholic. A key to this success is Ewan McGregor whose two signature film roles are as an addict and a psychic warrior so playing both sides of Danny Torrance convincingly must have been a piece of cake.

Tess Thought: I didn’t score an invite this day.

28. Dolemite Is My Name (RT: 97%)

Eddie Murphy gives his best performance in years and shows the immense talent and charm that have made him such a beloved entertainer for the better part of the last 4 decades despite his frequent misfires. Murphy clearly revels in the opportunity to return to his standup roots to depict Rudy Ray Moore’s early years in comedy clubs. He likewise pops when able to turn his own infinite charisma all the way up to portray Moore’s swaggering pimp persona Dolemite. Murphy isn’t the only attraction either as a loaded largely African-American cast gives winning performances retelling the outlandish rag tag production of the influential Blaxploitation film. Wesley Snipes even returns from years of paying off his back taxes with direct to DVD ignominy to give a strong performance as self-centered Blaxploitation actor and Dolemite director D’Urville Martin. Having Netflix’s loaded coffers behind the project leads to some bloat as the film ticks its biopic boxes but Murphy’s over 15 year commitment to getting the project off the ground gets it granted some indulgences.

Tess Thought: This day either.

27. Shazam (RT: 90%)

Zachart Levi is an absolute joy in this superhero riff on Big, clearly having a blast playing a kid given the powers and exaggerated physique of a comic book hero. As a Chuck fan, I was extremely here for it. Frequent movie baddie Mark Strong plays a formidable foe and the movie takes some time to give the character a fairly compelling backstory and motivation rather than just cartoonish world domination. Director David S. Sandberg cut his teeth in horror (Lights Out, Annabelle: Creation) and he gets to show off some of those chops in monster scenes that would feel at home in the same Amblin movie catalogue that Stranger Things so frequently mines. The foster kid drama that takes place alongside the goofy superhero action was a bit jarring at times but like Stranger Things its winning child actor cast, especially IT’s Jack Dylan Grazer, help carry it through its momentary shakiness.

Tess Thought: A very pleasant surprise but slightly too long. If you trim the fat this could’ve ranked even higher.

26. Joker (RT: 68%)

This is largely a one man show but it is one hell of a show. Joaquin Phoenix gives a mesmerizing and disturbing turn as the mentally ill man who becomes the iconic Batman villain because… *shrugs* society? By setting an origin story in a Gotham straight out of Taxi Driver’s 70’s New York, the depiction does well to avoid direct comparison to previous iconic iterations. Phoenix is haunting in both tic filled performance and appearance with bones jutting out from his malnourished sunken in skin at alarmingly sharp angles as he writhes about the screen. His performance kept me palpably on edge waiting for the inevitable breaking point that sends the film into a cascade of propulsive violent outbursts. Director Todd Phillips is best known for The Hangover trilogy but also put out the intermittently engrossing War Dogs which possesses a lot of the same strengths and weaknesses on display here. Joker has intriguing pieces that a more accomplished director or stronger scribe could have utilized to deliver a pertinent message about the societal impacts of capitalist greed that Phillips largely eschews developing cohesively in favor of admittedly well staged Scorsese homage light on the deeper substance of that clearly admired auteur’s work.

Tess Thought: The twists were bamboozling in a really great way, but the movie went downhill a bit from there. 26 is accurate.

25. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (RT: 52%)

There is a lot of Star Wars in this movie. It’s like JJ Abrams had a full trilogy in his mind and instead of building on Rian Johnson’s divisive 2nd chapter, he largely ignores or undoes much of the groundwork that was laid and plows ahead with his ideas for the last two chapters jammed into one. Because of this the whole thing feels a bit rushed as developments and new characters don’t get a ton of room to breathe before it’s on to the next adventure. Bringing back the original trilogies big bad Emperor Palpatine via the opening text crawl felt like a disservice most indicative of this issue. Fortunately a good chunk of the ideas thrown at the wall are pretty neat, like bringing Billy Dee William’s eternally cool Lando Calrissian back into the fold. There are also some truly awesome moments usually involving series standout Adam Driver and the handy dandy force Skype powers introduced last movie and expanded upon here. The film as a whole is a lot like Abrams’s use of Leia in the film via repurposed old footage of deceased Carrie Fisher. It gives audiences what they know and love but in places doesn’t quite sit right.

Tess Thought: This was the first Star Wars movie I ever saw in theaters so it was magic. I don’t want to watch it a second time though because I’m afraid I might notice all of the plot holes that I blissfully ignored in the theater and not love it anymore.

24-23: Superb Separations

24. Marriage Story (RT: 95%)

Noah Baumbach’s latest feature has received a lot of praise for its verisimilitude but I found it less a realistic depiction of the conclusion of a once loving relationship and more theater kids putting on an awards thirsty production of “DIVORCE!: Live on Broadway!” This isn’t to say the film isn’t good or even borderline great as leads Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver give forceful moving performances but it all felt a bit too theatrical right down to giving Driver a late in the picture musical number. Baumbach does take good advantage of his chosen medium particularly in the creation of an opening montage that assertively establishes a believable long term romance between his two leads. His transitions from wide shots to progressively tighter close up’s in a climactic argument raises tensions and gets maximum impact from his stars’ expressive faces that you likely wouldn’t get in a stage production. Baumbach enhances the dramatic capital A “Acting” in lengthy monologues and dialogues with a script that is genuinely and disarmingly hilarious given its often emotionally devastating subject matter. The loaded supporting cast (Laura Dern, Ray Liotta, and Alan Alda) is fantastic throughout as well.

Tess Thought: I don’t understand the hype at all. I must’ve missed something because I only found one singular scene enjoyable.

23. Midsommar (RT: 83%)

I don’t know what happened in writer/director Ari Aster’s life to allow him to come up with such a disturbing hallucinatory fable about the collapse of a relationship set at an eerily sunbathed Swedish summer festival. I would very much not like to find out. Florence Pugh gives an emotionally stirring performance as a traumatized college student working through the loss of her family with the half ass help of a disinterested boyfriend played with pitch perfect clueless douchebaggery by Jack Reynor. The story is not as tight (you definitely feel its 147 minute runtime) as his previous traumatizing examination of grief Hereditary, meandering a bit with side plots and secondary characters, but Aster shows a tremendous technical flair. He once again disorients with his framing and well-honed visual craftsmanship while punctuating the slow burn dread permeating the film with sudden acts of violence and stomach churning images.

Tess Thought: First word that comes to mind is bizarre. Absolutely wild. And Florence Pugh is the best on-screen crier there ever was.

22: Technical Achievement Award

22. 1917 (RT: 89%)

Director Sam Mendes reaches the logical endpoint for the recent craze of long takes that was kicked off by Birdman and a True Detective stunner back in 2014. Outside of one obvious midpoint cut, the film is shot and edited as if it was all filmed in one continuous take. The film is a technical marvel from this standpoint. The long take works like gangbusters for certain stretches particularly as our heroes wander through seemingly endless trench lines while the camera closely follows behind. In others it begins to hamper the pacing as it is an awful lot of watching someone walk waiting for the next burst of excitement, not unlike when watching a video game cut scene. I also found myself getting distracted by the effect, often focusing on trying to identify where the near undetectable cuts had been stitched together rather than the intricately choreographed action unfolding within them. These downsides of the technical achievement would likely be less noticeable had they backed a more in depth or nuanced story rather than an intermittently stirring but fairly standard war film.

Tess Thought: The one continuous shot motif was what held my attention. I thought that was the best part.

21-17: Outstanding Originals

21. Jojo Rabbit (RT: 80%)

After taking the dull Thor series and making it a vibrant buddy comedy, writer/director Taika Waiti takes on the even more arduous task of transferring his quirky dry humor to Nazi Germany. Working from a mixture of Mel Brooksian “Springtime For Hitler” spoofery and Life is Beautiful humanity affirming dramedy, Waiti manages to mostly thread the impossibly thin needle of satirizing the absurdity of bigotry and fanatics while also not making light of one of the most harrowing chapters in human history. Putting the focus on children full of naivety and innocence permits Waiti to examine how menially hatred can pervade society. It also allows for a showcase of some tremendous young actors led by Roman Griffith Davis as Jojo and the impossibly adorable Archie Yates as his best friend Yorki. The film has some big laughs but doesn’t shy away from the bleakness of the times with some truly traumatic moments. Ultimately though the focus of the story remains on the small bits of goodness that persisted in spite of the all-consuming darkness around them. The charming film instills hope that in spite of humanities many shortcomings, love and this persistent good will ultimately win out.

Tess Thought: This one is as fun as a movie about Nazi Germany could possibly be.

20. Ford V Ferarri (RT: 92%)

Your dad and/or grandfather’s favorite movie since The Fighter. It has gritty Americans taking on the fancy boy Italians of Ferarri. It has the get your hands dirty drivers and mechanics taking on the slick businessmen and the nerdy tech boys from development. The main characters get into a boys will be boys fist fight on the front lawn in order to work out a conflict. It also has remarkably invigorating footage of cars going incredible fast and whipping around turns. Matt Damon and Christian Bale both give their typical outstanding performances as stubborn cocksure drivers and Josh Lucas plays a smarmy business exec you’ll love to hate. Director James Mangold even manages to fit in a moving father and idolizing son tale along its edges so your old man can tap into his 2-3 feelings.

Tess Thought: Maybe it was the Culver’s double deluxe we snuck into the theater or the bucket of popcorn and Mr. Pibb combo I also acquired that put me in such a great mood, but I loved every single second of this movie. 20 feels low - this is a top 10er.

19. Booksmart (RT: 97%)

Easy to classify this movie as the female Superbad especially with Jonah Hill’s own sister Beanie Feldstein in a co-lead role, but by no means should that be taken as a derogatory remark. Superbad for me, is the high watermark of high school comedies. Hilarious, eminently quotable, and possessing a deceptively big heart it’s a noble height for any filmmaker to shoot for and Olivia Wilde comes remarkably close to capturing the same lightning in a bottle in her directorial debut. Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever have genuine chemistry in spades which leads to both hilarious riffs and adds believability and emotional impact to their later squabbles. While the end of high school party story feels familiar, Wilde separates from the pack with some unique flourishes like a gut busting stop motion animated segment during an inadvertent drug trip and a go for broke performance from Billie Lourd in what can best be described as a drugged out party imp popping up with comical frequency.

Tess Thought: When Ryan makes me go to the recliner theater where tickets are 2x more expensive than they are at my theater it puts a lot of additional pressure on the movie to be good. This one delivered.

18. The Lighthouse (RT: 90%)

This one is not for everyone but I found it an enjoyable atmospheric slow burn descent into bat shit madness. Willem Dafoe is an absolute hoot as a deranged lighthouse keeper. He puts every jutting angle, crevice and the toothy grin of his one of a kind face to use as he goes full “Sea Captain” to deliver lengthy soliloquies and curses. A stern taskmaster by day and a nonsense spewing drunk gasbag at night, Dafoe’s wickie picks at every last fragment of his new assistant’s sanity until they finally breaks in spectacular fashion. Robert Pattinson does equally tremendous work as the short term assistant on a purgatorial shift plagued by surreal visions conjured from his shady past and cabin fever decimated psyche. Robert Eggers shot the film in a confined 1.19:1 aspect ratio and shadow filled black and white that serve to enhance the claustrophobia of the keepers’ narrow island quarters. The sound design in this movie is fantastic and its haunting tones unnerved me in a way I hadn’t experienced outside of last year’s phenomenal Annihilation.

Tess Thought: I was promised a comedy *cough Ryan* but I assure you there is nary a laugh to be had. My ranking: 74.

17. The Farewell (RT: 98%)

Former rapper Awkwafina gives a vulnerable and affecting performance as Billi, a Chinese immigrant who returns with her family to her homeland to visit her ailing grandmother. The twist here is that in sticking with a sometimes practiced Chinese tradition, the grandmother has not been told of her illness so that the emotional burden lies solely on the rest of the family in her final days. This leads to scenes that are both humorous and moving as the family works to keep up the ruse and celebrate her life without tipping her off. Zhao Shuzhen is enchanting as the cancer stricken Nai Nai, generating some of the film’s biggest laughs and pulling the hardest on your heart strings. Ostensibly about the differences between Western and Eastern culture, the film taps into some universal feelings about family and heritage and all the mess that comes with it in its richly told story taken directly from writer/director Lulu Wang’s own life.

Tess Thought: The best marriage of funny and sad in a movie since JGL and Seth Rogen’s 50/50.

16-12: Worthy Brand Extensions

16. Spider-Man: Far From Home (RT: 91%)

With all due respect to Tobey Maguire and half-hearted acknowledgement of Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland is the definitive on screen Spider-Man. He has perfectly captured both the goofy dork and earnest hero sides of Peter Parker. This film affords Holland the opportunity to fully indulge in the puppy love romance central to Parker’s historical characterization as well. The story by Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers is quintessential Spider-Man. Sure Parker grapples with taking up the mantle of his fallen mentor and saving the world yet again, but he also needs to find the time to tell Zendaya’s sarcastic MJ how he feels for her while on a zany European adventure. Jake Gyllenhaal nails all the different angles of his role as Mysterio and the character’s illusion based power set allow for some trippy and inventive fight scenes. It’s not as earth shattering as last year’s transcendent Into The Spider-verse but it does possess arguably the most audacious twists outside of the snap in Marvel history, something that should have far reaching ramifications for the series going forward.

Tess Thought: Still not understanding the Zendaya hype (as MJ anyway). Luckily Tom Holland/Peter Parker/Spider-Man carried the performance per usual, and Mysterio was a lot of fun.

15. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (RT: 91%)

He can’t keep getting away with it. After rolling out the seemingly ill-advised but transcendent prequel series Better Call Saul, creator Vince Gilligan has once again dipped back into the Breaking Bad world to craft a near perfect epilogue to his near perfect television series. Aaron Paul remains enthralling in the Jesse Pinkman role he was born to play. Originally written for a first season exit the character quietly became the show’s most sympathetic character largely on the shoulder of Paul’s endearing performance as the foul mouth drug dealer with a messy but firm moral compass. Writer/Director Vince Gilligan not only gives a satisfying conclusion to the unanswered fate of Pinkman but utilizes flashback to enrich his story even further. Numerous series characters appear but always in service of flushing out Jesse’s story rather than rote fan service. Gilligan remains a master of staging and inventive camerawork capturing every ounce of desperation in a frantic top to bottom search of an apartment shown in a diorama-esque overhead shot. The tension, humor and strong character work make the film feel just like an extended episode of the series, which is the highest compliment I can give when the series in question is the defining drama of the “Peak TV” era.

Tess Thought: Best Netflix movie of the year or maybe ever.

14. Avengers: Endgame (RT:94%)

Speaking of a satisfying coda, Endgame brought a compelling and spectacle filled finale to over a decade of storytelling in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The movie serves as a striking encapsulation of the entire series in both story and form. Endgame takes full advantage of it loaded cast to create an experience filled with the genuine character beats and zippy humor that has propelled the MCU to unprecedented success. It’s not without some of Marvel’s calling card weaknesses either. This includes a limited ability to stand on its own, most profoundly felt when it drags a bit in the middle as the film briefly threatens to disappear up its own ass revisiting key prior moments in the “Infinity Saga.” The brothers Russo’s do definitively get the film back on course with an explosive finale. One of the other biggest criticisms of Marvel has been their repetitive CGI laden set piece finales but the Russo’s manage to stage as good a mass battle as seen on screen since a certain previous zeitgeist grabbing fantastical saga managed to stick its own landing. More importantly the directors and their cast, particularly series standouts Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans, manage to ground all the spectacle with genuine heart and pathos.

Tess Thought: You’ll crave a cheeseburger that you can sob into. Iron Man makes you very happy and very sad simultaneously, at the same time, all at once.

13. The Irishman (RT: 96%)

A compelling and spectacle filled finale to decades of organized crime storytelling in the Martin Scorsese Cinematic Universe. Marty reunites with his long time collaborators Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci for his own high budget CGI filled extension of his previous works. Rather than a crowd pleasing cape and crusader story, Scorsese uses state of the art de-aging technology to craft a haunting rumination on the hollowness of power, the banality of evil it promotes and the profound isolation wrought by its feckless pursuit. Instead of an Incredible Hulk, Scorsese has the Incredible Al Pacino running around with an insatiable appetite for hot fudge sundaes, shouting, gesticulating without abandon and calling people “cocksucker” with the artistic zeal of Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel in a captivating supporting turn as former teamster union leader Jimmy Hoffa. Like Endgame, The Irishman’s over 3 hr. runtime can feel bloated at times and its effects aren’t always believable but the strong performances of Pacino, De Niro and Pesci alongside Scorsese’s typically masterful touches with staging and dialogue make the journey well worth the investment.

Tess Thought: I tried my hardest to stay awake, but it was impossible.

12. John Wick: Parabellum (RT: 90%)

Keanu Reeves kills 7’4 NBA star Boban Marjanovic with a library book. Keanu Reeves has a sword fight while riding on a motorcycle. Keanu Reeves joins forces with Halle Berry, two German Shepherds and a horse to take out his would be assailants. Keanu Reeves shoots a guy on a motorcycle whilst riding said horse. Keanu Reeves gets thrown through more glass than an early 00’s WWE star. Mark Dacascos plays a rival assassin that is both a formidable foe in combat and hilarious John Wick fanboy. I don’t know why you’re still reading this and not queuing up the Blu-Ray right now. It gives you everything and more than what you expect from this standout action franchise. The additions to its absolutely bonkers world building and lore get a bit tedious in places but fret not, Keanu will be back in an impeccably staged knife fight before you really have to process the hokey talk of High Tables and Adjudicators.

Tess Thought: If one doesn’t enjoy blood I highly recommend the hand on face technique for this one. Peek through your fingers so you can still follow the story and appreciate how cool Keanu is whilst avoiding a clear view of all of the gruesome (albeit cool) stabbings.

11-9: Cats In The Cradle Classics

11. A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood (RT: 95%)

Rather than the Fred Rogers biopic the marketing initially painted it to be, the film is instead a powerful treatise on anger, resentment and ultimately forgiveness. Tom Hanks does lend every ounce of his formidable charm to his portrayal of Mr. Rogers but it is firmly in a supporting role. Loosely based on an Esquire magazine profile of Rogers, the crux of the tale is writer and recent father Llyod Vogel (Matthew Rhys) coming to terms with his estranged alcoholic father played by a top of his craft Chris Cooper. Mr. Rogers is effectively used by director Marielle Heller (Can You Ever Forgive Me?) as a whimsical framing device and remains a larger than life character but Hanks’s thoughtful portrayal keeps him grounded in the complex humanity that pervades the film.

Tess Thought: Tom Hanks can do no wrong. This hits you in all the feels just as you’d expect and just as you’d want.

10. Honey Boy (RT: 93%)

A remarkably cathartic piece of filmmaking originally written by Shia LaBeouf as a means of therapy and brought vividly to life by director Alma Har’el. LaBeouf grippingly plays a fictionalized version of his own rodeo clown father in this poignant yet funny and life affirming tale about cycles of abuse. The film jumps back and forth between Lucas Hedges (aka every indie film producers backup Timothee Chalamet) as an out of control Transformers era LaBeouf and 14 year old Noah Jupe taking on Even Stevens era LaBeouf. It’s not quite a masterpiece as the rehab scenes with Hedges feel a bit undercooked but nearly anything would be compared to the enthralling retelling of LaBeouf’s Disney star days living out of a rundown motel with his 4 years sober but constantly teetering on the brink father. Jupe and LaBeouf have a lived in dynamic and their strained but at its core loving father/son relationship pulls at your heart strings any time they’re on screen. If you don’t find yourself misty eyed by its conclusion, the photo montage of LaBeouf and his actual father during the credits will push you right over the edge.

Tess Thought: No wonder when Shia got arrested (one of the times) he yelled at the cop, “You have no idea how good I am at what I do.” Gosh he really is that good. Another big W for Shia.

9. Ad Astra (RT: 84%)

This quiet and ruminative space set Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now from Director James Gray is not going to be for everyone. While the film’s visuals are grandiose, it sequences of action are fairly limited. In between these finite but expertly staged set pieces, Gray shoots Brad Pitt’s taciturn astronaut Roy McBride in frequent close up as Pitt gives a masterclass in using even the most minute facial expressions to speak volumes. Tommy Lee Jones haunts the proceedings in a small but pivotal Kurtzian role as the long thought dead, now thought mad, estranged father that Pitt must hunt down to save humanity. While Pitt’s McBride remains near silent, calm, cool and collected on screen, Gray deploys voice over narration to provide additional insight into how the mission slowly breaks down even a man born and raised to execute it. The dialogue of this narration toes right up to the line of faux philosophical nonsense you might find in a Brad Pitt starring cologne ad but ultimately I found it in effective window into his declining psyche. Above all else the film, in conjunction with my selection for best film of 2018 First Man, has convinced me that space exploration is a harrowing and lonely existence fraught with existential angst that I frankly want no part in. Not even if I could be a dune buggy driving moon pirate like those featured in a thrilling early chase sequence.

Tess Thought: I thought I liked it but then my sister told me she didn’t so maybe I didn’t.

8: Gooey Goodness

8. The Peanut Butter Falcon (RT: 96%)

This is one of the sweetest movies I have ever seen. I just wanted to give it and everyone involved in making it a big hug. A modern day spin on Huck Finn built entirely around lead actor Zack Gottsagen whom writer/directors Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz discovered at a camp for actors with disabilities. It’s easy to see why as Gottsagen is a magnetic screen presence with impeccable timing. He and a never better Shia LaBeouf have some of the most palpable chemistry I have ever witnessed on screen. They have an easy rapport and watching them forge a deep friendship was the most believable relationship I saw in a movie this year. The story is admittedly hokey but everything is just so damn charming and sincere you can’t help but get wrapped up in its warmth.

Tess Thought: There are some irrelevant characters they keep trying to incorporate throughout the movie, but honestly you don’t even really notice them because you’re too busy being obsessed with Shia and Zack and hoping you get invited to their birthday parties. PB Falc exceeds all expectations.

7-5: Class Warfare Wonders

7. Knives Out (RT: 97%)

Writer/Director Rian Johnson clearly loves a good mystery weaving a gripping yarn while alternately poking fun at and slavishly engaging in the genre’s various tropes. Johnson subverts the most obvious convention of a whodunit by seemingly giving away the “who” early into the film’s runtime and instead drawing tension from the culprit’s desperate attempts to cover their tracks. Plenty of twists and reveals still abound and almost every detail of the film’s snappy front half comes back in a meaningful way for its supremely satisfying final act. The cast is uniformly excellent as expected given all the high quality names involved. Daniel Craig is especially delightful as detective Benoit Blanc complete with the ridiculous accent and Kentucky fried wisdom of an exaggerated southern gentleman. This film is an absolute treat from start to finish that keeps you guessing, laughing, and loathing the insufferable tragedy struck Thrombey clan and their petty narcissistic squabbles.

Tess Thought: Not quiiiiiite as good as Clue but almost! Maybe the most fun I had in a theater this year. And Chris Evans’ sweater game is strong.

6. Parasite (RT: 99%)

A scathing indictment of capitalist societal hierarchy that is a lot more fun than this thesis paper sentence makes it sound. The first act plays like a zippy capper film in the Ocean’s 11 or The Sting vein as the dirt poor Kim family cunningly indoctrinate themselves with the wealthy and naive Park family. The editing here is superb as the film crosscuts between schemes and execution as the Kims take on carefully rehearsed personas to replace the Park household staff members one by one. The second act is a high tension thriller as a series of complications threaten to expose the ruse. The film explodes into full blown horror as it all comes crashing down in a visceral final act. Writer/Director Bong Joon-Ho masterfully handles all these disparate tones and transitions so smoothly that the later lunacy becomes a natural and justified progression. The Kim family are not comically saintly like Knives Out’s portrayal of its downtrodden interloper but the nuanced script and performances (frequent Joon-Ho collaborator Song Kang-ho shines as the Kim patriarch) garner sympathy in abundance for its desperate and conniving schemers trying to stay afloat. It becomes neigh impossible to contain disdain for the blithely ignorant folk that have been designated as their superior.

Tess Thought: Subtitles are so worth it. So good.

5. Us (RT: 93%)

Jordan Peele is only two movies into his directorial career and is already a proven master of his craft. The opening sequence alone creates a level of atmosphere and dread that most horror films fail to achieve in their entire runtime. He took a dopey song about bumming weed and made it a spine chilling anthem. A gifted comedian, Peele understands the shared nuances between setting up a good joke and a good scare. He uses humor throughout without undercutting any of his thrills and instead opens viewers up to the full gamut of emotions. Doppelgangers are a well many thrillers pull from as it is inherently unnerving and plays with the idea that we are often our own worst enemies. Peele and his excellent cast use this trope to its full capabilities with their depiction of the “Tethered”, a shattered funhouse mirror version of everyone and their darkest capabilities. Winston Duke’s big goofy devoted dad begets an unyielding hulking menace. It speaks volumes to prejudice against the horror genre that Lupita Nyong’o is not racking up awards for her dual role as a sweet caring mother and terrifying vindictive monster that she makes two sides of the same coin. One prominent criticism of this movie has been that its apparent message wasn’t as clear as that in Peele’s previous directorial effort Get Out. As David Lynch says in criticism of film analysis, “The film is the thing.” This “thing” is an edge of your seat thrill ride.

Tess Thought: Only Jordan Peele can find a way to seamlessly weave laugh out loud humor into the spookiest of narratives. Winston Duke needs to be in more movies.

4-3: Wholesome Joys

4. Toy Story 4 (RT: 97%)

Pixar remains the gold standard in animation and Toy Story remains their preeminent series. The advances in digital animation on display in this film are jaw dropping. There’s dust particles floating in the sunlight lit air of an antique store. Who even thinks to add that? Similar care is given to a script that is perhaps the funniest in the franchise. The comedy is buoyed by the addition of Key and Peele as conjoined carnival plushes and world’s coolest Canadian Keanu Reeves as world’s greatest Canadian stuntman Duke Kaboom. Fellow new character, arts and crafts creation Forky brings a hilarious new expression of the existential angst that has repeatedly popped up in the series since Buzz’s stint as Mrs. Nesbitt. Of course it wouldn’t be a Toy Story without poignant messages about friendship and finding one’s place in the world. Much like the third film, 4 comes to an emotional potential conclusion for the series but with characters this rich in these trusted hands, I’m still gonna be eager to get right in line if Pixars brings them out to play again.

Tess Thought: Many animated movies try to put out a decent sequel and fail miserably. Toy Story has released a FOURTH installment that is just as heartwarming and fun and perfect as the previous three.

3. Little Women (RT: 95%)

This is a nearly flawless masterpiece of a film. Writer/Director Greta Gerwig coming off the success of 2017’s wonderful Lady Bird somehow raises her game further to create a stirring tale of family, womanhood and the joys and sorrows that come with both. In a stroke of genius Gerwig divides the story into two separate timelines, cutting back and forth to draw parallels and enhance emotional impacts. While the film will leave a smile on your face for the majority of its runtime, a tinge of melancholy permeates the proceedings. The two timelines work in concert to show the dreams and boundless possibilities of youth juxtaposed with what happens to those dreams and the sacrifices made when life inevitably gets in the way. The March sisters are all impeccably cast with Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh shining brightest as fiercely independent Jo and endearingly bratty Amy. It isn’t just the little women that shine either. Timothée Chalamet’s Theodore “Laurie” Laurence is a fuckboy icon for the ages that you can’t quite decide if you want the March sisters to smooch or slap in the face. Chris Cooper is positively heartbreaking as Laurie’s wealthy grandfather that takes a shine to *spoiler warning for a 150 year old book* doomed March sister Beth. I would have ranked it higher but its distinct lack of Kevin Garnett hurt it in the final polling.

Tess Thought: Far and away the best movie of the year. Even a 3 spot ranking is absurd.

2-1: Seedy Stunners

2. Uncut Gems (RT: 92%)

I have not experienced anxiety like this since I accidentally lit a colleague on fire in a calamitous high school shopping cart grill accident. Adam Sandler gives a career best performance and as someone that has seen Happy Gilmore at least 50 times, I don’t throw that out lightly. You can’t turn away as Sandler’s skeezy gambling addicted jeweler Howard bops all over 2012 New York with his constantly buzzing iPhone 4 betting money he doesn’t have, running scams to stay afloat and trying to flip a dubiously acquired rare black opal that catches the eye of none other than Minnesota Timberwolves legend Kevin Garnett. The whole time you just want to reach into the screen and shake some sense into Howard. He manages to slink out of each predicament only to find himself in a bigger one at every turn, all the while displaying no real understanding of the imminent consequences headed his way. Most incredibly, Sandler’s portrayal of the sociopathic sleazeball leaves the most twisted part of your psyche rooting for the guy to pull it all off in a perverted sense of pity. Combined with 2017’s propulsive Good Time, the Safdie brothers have established themselves as the premier auteurs of the compulsive degenerate underbelly of American society.

Tess Thought: I need to watch some Bedtime Stories and Billy Madison to cleanse my Adam Sandler palette after this. He was absolutely fantastic, but it's been a month and my blood pressure still hasn't gone back to normal.

1. Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood (RT: 85%)

This could prove to be a divisive decision as I could see the film being viewed as brash, overlong or boring for some, but for me, it just clicked on all cylinders. Is having one of your main characters fight Bruce Lee on the set of The Green Hornet a bit self-indulgent? Sure. Does it kick ass? Absolutely. While remaining very much a Tarantino film what with its explosively violent finale, choice needle drops, snappy dialogue, providing Michael Madsen drinking money, obscure references and gratuitous shots of bare feet, I found it reminiscent of my fondest Richard Linklater’s hangout films (Dazed and Confused, Everybody Wants Some!!) in the way it meanders around. Just as Linklater captures the last days of high school in 1976 or the start of college in 1980, Tarantino has painstaking recreated 1969 Los Angeles to depict the waning days of the Golden Age of Hollywood. Leonardo DiCaprio’s washed up alcoholic television star Rick Dalton and his loyal driver/repairman née stunt double Cliff Boothe, played by a never more swaggering Brad Pitt, make for exquisite chaperones to putz around Tarantino’s collage. Margot Robbie’s Sharon Tate bops in and out of picture as a beacon of the bright potential of New Hollywood. Meanwhile the darkness that snuffed out that light and brought the Golden Age to a screeching halt lurks along the periphery including a deftly suspenseful visit to Spahn Ranch. An infectious yearning nostalgia drips out of every frame of this love letter to a begotten time that never quite was. It leaves you wishing you were able to take up Rick’s repeated advice to get a permanent residence.

Tess Thought: It was brash, overlong, and boring.