Wattching Movies 2023 Reviewed: The Top 40
- Watt
- Mar 9, 2024
- 34 min read
Updated: Mar 9, 2024
40-31: We Live In A City of Dreams
Rotten Tomato Score: 42%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Peacock
I have been a fan of Please Don’t Destroy since videos produced by the sketch trio started popping up on social media back in 2020. In 2021, the boys were all hired by Saturday Night Live to write and produce digital shorts. Cashing in on Lorne Michael’s co-sign the boys linked up with producer Judd Apatow and acquired enough product placement money from Truly Hard Seltzer to fund their very own Hot Rod. Instead of bombing at the box office like that now beloved 2007 creation of their SNL digital short forefathers, The Lonely Island, the first theatrical effort of PDD got the arguably even more ignoble treatment of being unceremoniously released directly to the nether realms of streaming, Peacock. Beyond inauspicious debuts, the two films share a lot in common as both are more or less loosely connected sequences of absurdist sketches and bits. The narrative backbone here is three jovial slacker lads going, you guessed it, in search of treasure on Foggy Mountain. The scenes don’t quite reach the comedic heights of say an inspiring montage turned riot but this gang’s goofy jokes and use of Soulja Boy landed well with me. I am awarding extra points as well for the fun meta casting of late night comedy legend and former SNL writer Conan O’Brien as the father of the only member of their crew who doesn’t actually have a dad that wrote for SNL.
Tess Thought (62): Not my Lonely Island.
39. No Hard Feelings
Rotten Tomato Score: 70%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
Academy Award winner Jennifer Lawrence delivers a bawdy go for broke comedic performance as a down on her luck woman who answers a Craigslist ad from two extreme helicopter parents to “date” their introverted teenage son in exchange for a used automobile. Lawrence's uproarious efforts more than atone for her previous comedic endeavor, the disastrous Dont Look Up. Lawrence is matched blow for blow by relative newcomer Andrew Barth Feldman as the endearingly awkward object of the heinous scheme. The film comes from the same writer/director (Gene Stupnitsky) as Good Boys and has a similar mix of big raunchy laughs with genuine heart. The drama portions feature a bit too heavily in the less laugh filled back half but provide for some necessary character growth. Stupnitsky also co-created Jury Duty which was one of the most delightful TV shows to come out this past year as well. I would highly recommend folks looking for chuckles check out both of these productions.
Tess Thought (23): That lemon loaf deliberation really hit home.
38. Napoleon
Rotten Tomato Score: 58%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Apple TV+
I wore my Bill & Ted t-shirt to support the Ziggy Piggy’s most triumphant return to the big screen. Just like that waterslide enthusiast, Ridley Scott’s version of Napoleon as portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix is also a bit of a boob driven by urge and ego. Debatable historical verisimilitude aside, the characterization speaks to the increasing understanding coming from our current times that just because someone is important or powerful doesn't necessarily mean they’re especially tactful or bright. Sometimes they’re just some asshole that blows stuff up that the bros vibe with. This could have used more moments like Napoleon winging a military coup with his brother and horny braying at his cuckolding wife Josephine (Vanessa Kirby) to keep the non-battle portions humming but I am a sucker for scale. The icy Battle of Austerlitz and the massive skirmish at Waterloo depicted here rule. Rest assured Scott emptied the coffers on exploding horses and maimed infantrymen. I’m sure there’s quite a bit of digital supplementing but it certainly looked like a shitload of human extras serving as canon fodder. I will also note here that I saw Stanley Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon for the first time this past year. It whips an unconscionable amount of ass. Watch that if you want a really good loosely historical drama about an impulsive scalawag roaming around 18th century Europe.
Tess Thought (107): Dare I say insufferable.
37. Air
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime
Director Ben Affleck and his wicked talent buddy Matt Damon co-star in an enjoyable Moneyball style behind the scenes of sports movie that is at least 50% less interested in the actual sport. Instead of on court action, that focus is moved over to doing some P.R work for one of the most profitable companies in the world in a retelling of how the iconic Air Jordan shoe was first produced. It shouldn’t really work but the cast of this corporate sponsored 30 for 30 is really strong. Damon, Affleck, Jason Bateman, Chris Tucker and Viola Davis are all great but Chris Messina’s bombastic agent steals the show weaving a tapestry of obscenities in a series of increasingly aggrieved phone calls. I get that Michael Jordan is a singular universally recognized iconic figure but not even trying to have an actor portray him is a bit of a cop out. Amazon must have spent all the money needed to acquire NBA/Hustle star Anthony Edwards services on securing the rights to their Touch Tunes curated 80’s soundtrack.
Tess Thought (42): Great to see Wilson from Home Improvement still getting work.
36. Dumb Money
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 84%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
Paul Dano gives his standard stellar performance as real life youtuber “Roaring Kitty” who during the pandemic sparked a flood of individual investment also known as “dumb money” into Gamestop stock. This eventually led to a short squeeze that cost “smart money” hedge firms millions of dollars setting off a firestorm of congressional hearings, class action lawsuits and financial regulations. For the supporting cast Director Craig Gillepsie assembles his cohort of Sebastian Stan, Seth Rogen and Nick Offerman fresh off their previous headline ripper Pam and Tommy. Pete Davidson is also there for comedy relief as Dano’s deadbeat brother. Adapted from Ben Mezrich’s book The Antisocial Network, the film does an entertaining job of breaking down the basic blow by blow of the meme stock craze and pertinent financial lingo without feeling quite as much like a smarmy textbook passage as The Big Short.
Tess Thought (25): Perfectly cast.
35. M3gan
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime
From Akela Cooper, the screenwriter of 2021’s gonzo delight Malignant, comes the yassification of Child’s Play. A toy company engineer played by Allison Williams develops a highly sophisticated doll powered by artificial intelligence she wisely decides to test out on her recently orphaned niece. It goes as well as things tend to do in horror movies and surprisingly gruesome kills for a PG-13 affair quickly ensue as the overprotective doll and the traumatized young girl bond. The song choices are amazing from the David Guetta song M3gan sings as a lullaby to the “Walk The Night” soundtracked office rampage. The doll created through a mix of animatronics, puppets, digital effects and a good old fashioned little girl in a mask is creepy as hell with some killer dance moves. Our audience was positively giddy at points as the campy chaos ensued. I had a very fun time.
Tess Thought (90): This was awful.
34. Nimona
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 92%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
This animated film was originally in production at Fox’s Blue Sky Studio, got acquired by Disney in the merger, was left unfinished at the then shuttered studio perhaps for how unashamedly queer it is, before being resurrected and completed by Annapurina. It’s easy to see why another studio would be eager to hop in and not let this project go to waste with its unique animation style paired with a distinct half medieval half futuristic setting. It’s tale concerns a knight (Riz Ahmed) cast out from the kingdom after being framed for murder who endeavors to clear his name with the assistance of the titular shape shifting girl (Chloe Grace Moretz) who is determined to be his “evil” sidekick. The “punk rock” angle of the Nimona character can feel a bit try hard at times but really just serves as a shield around a wounded outcast. The story delivers an eerily timely message about the dangers of prejudice and propaganda but they really are timeless evil that can only be overcome by the powers of acceptance, love, and shark dance parties.
Tess Thought (35): Endearing, funny, and cute.
33. The Creator
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 67%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Hulu
I quite enjoyed director Gareth Edwards’s Rogue One and Godzilla so I was very curious to see him work in an original world. Frankly, “original” is a little bit of a stretch as the film cribs heavily from sci-fi staples like Blade Runner, Avatar and hell even a little dash of Will Smith’s I, Robot for good measure. Edwards reunites with Academy Award winning Rogue One cinematographer Greig Fraser (Dune, The Batman) for some fantastic looking effects and visuals that create a far more tactile world than typically seen in recent blue screen “fix it later in post” blockbuster fare. The look helps carry a derivative and often clunky script. Like his father Denzel, John David Washington can sometimes salvage some wooden dialogue through sheer power of charisma. Not all the casting is great but Sturgill Simpson certainly does seem like someone that would be having sex with robots.
Tess Thought (27): Wasn’t expecting this to tug at the heartstrings like it did.
32. Dream Scenario
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%
Where to Watch: Available for Rental
A deeply unremarkable college professor inexplicably starts appearing in other people’s dreams in this lightly horror-tinged comedy. Much of my enjoyment came from Nicolas Cage, one of our most unhinged, eccentric, and singular actors somehow being incredibly effective at playing such a nebbish dweeby everyman. I don't want to discount the contributions of the puffy coat, oversized sweaters and hiking boots but I felt like I’d had this exact professor no less than 3 times in college. The film loses a bit of momentum in the second half when it pivots to some shallow examining and satire of influencer culture. It won me back in the end with Talking Heads references and a perfect end credits needle drop.
Speaking of Talking Heads, my favorite theatrical experience of this year was seeing the remaster of Stop Making Sense. The sensation was what I assume church feels like for those people that flop around on the floor and start speaking in tongues.
Tess Thought (43): The second half lost me a bit, but the ending brought it all back together.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 94%
Where to Watch: Available for Rental
Jeffrey Wright deservedly scored a best actor nomination for an all too rare lead performance as a struggling author who submits a derivative and stereotypical manuscript as a goof only to find it widely acclaimed and highly profitable. This is one of those movies where I really wish I hadn’t seen the trailer because a lot of the big jokes are spoiled and the broader cultural satire I came in expecting, while still present and entertaining, really just serves as window dressing for a rock solid family centered dramedy. Tracee Ellis Ross and Sterling K. Brown are right below Wright’s performance level portraying his siblings as the trio navigate an aging mother and an unexpected loss. Writer/Director Cord Jefferson honed his craft working on some of the most acclaimed television of the last decade (Master of None, Succession, Watchmen) and will be one to watch as he finds a comfortable Alexander Payne style pocket of mixing laughter and pathos in his debut feature.
Tess Thought (26): People acting like Sterling K. Brown is just now emerging as a star need to get a clue. You haven’t been emotionally destroyed by This is Us and it shows.
30-21: Better Not Kill The Groove
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime and Paramount+
Co-Director of Game Night and lead geek on Freaks and Geeks John Francis Daley and his writing partner/co-director Jonathan Goldstein deliver another rollicking fun time at the movies. Following this lead performance I was ready to finally call an end to the long running Chris Wars and declare Chris Pine the once and future Chris. His party member Michelle Rodriquez gets some great combat pieces. Based on lore from the now 50 year old table top role playing game, this quest is jam packed with sparkling wit and unique creatures like an obese dragon. A smarmy Hugh Grant relishes another heel turn as a backstabbing villain. It’s no roll of the 20 sided die popping this bad boy on, you are in for an all around great time.
Tess Thought (24): An unexpected delight.
29. Theater Camp
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Hulu
Expanding on their 2020 a short film, a group of former summer theater camp kids including Ben Platt, Molly Gordon, and Noah Gavin deliver a Christopher Guest-esque mockumentary about one such camp. The end product is a little more narratively focused and lighter on jokes than Guest’s work but still full of big laughs. It doesn’t hurt that it also features some of my favorites like Jimmy Tatro, Ayo Edebiri, Patti Harrison, and the adorable little boy from Minari who, as the best running bit, plays an aspiring agent. As an aside, Tess and I didn’t initially view Minari until well after our 2020 film reviews had dropped but I would put it firmly in the top 4 of that year, if not the very top spot. There’s a foul mouthed wrestling loving Mountain Dew sipping Korean grandma and I play the film’s sweeping score whenever I want to dust off some feels. It’s on Netflix now. I’ll let you step away and watch it before continuing down the list.
Tess Thought (50): I have been meaning to give this one another try. I think I’m supposed to like it more than I did.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 95%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix, just like Minari
When a drug dealer is shot and killed but wakes up the next day as if nothing happened, a wild web of conspiracy begins to unravel in this fun and original sci-fi blaxploitation riff. Taylor, co-screenwriter of Creed II which pulled off the near impossibility of lending gravitas to the cheesiest Rocky sequel, shows tremendous promise maintaining the film’s unique tone and aesthetics. Set in a 70’s tuned modern day, Taylor adds a grainy film effect complete with scratches and cigarette burns to really set the mood. The film features strong performances from all three leads, particularly Jamie Foxx who is given a character to play instead of generic action star like his last two Netflix outings. His habitual line stepping pimp Slick Charles is his most memorable turn since Django Unchained.
Tess Thought (87): Simply could not get into this movie even on the second try.
27. Saltburn
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 71%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime
From its mixed reception it seems like some people went in expecting more coherent satire/messaging but I very much clocked it as writer/director Emerald Fennell (Promising Young Woman) seeing Barry Keoghan in The Killing of a Sacred Deer’s spaghetti scene and saying “That is a delightfully deranged dead eyed weirdo I would very much like to stick around some pretty people for a few hours.” Keoghan is one of my favorite current actors. Last year he pulled off one of the most pitiful characters ever put to screen in The Banshees of Inisherin and that plays into a strong setup for this bisexually lit spin on The Talented Mr Ripley. There are a lot of choices in this movie like its boxy 1.33:1 aspect ratio and some juvenile “shock” scenes that give off more “fuck it, we ball” vibes than cogent purpose which I actually kind of admire in a way. All power to filmmakers that take the illustrious and rare platform they are given to meticulously craft works of import but there is some “Aint I a stinker?” charm to other directors that say “Can you believe they let me do this? It’s not even my money. Let’s just do that thing I want to try and see if they let it sneak through the edits.”
Tess Thought (20): The only thing is was missing was Bo Burnham singing in a pharmacy.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 75%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
A white yuppie family takes a vacation from the city to an airbnb out in the sticks. Strange events start occurring and in the dead of night the black owners of the rental home return asking to stay due to a major blackout that takes out all means of outside communication. A tense chaotic mystery soundtracked by a piano and string heavy score unfurls from there as to the cause and scale of all these disturbances. For the most part the film is a chamber piece carried by a strong cast of frequent award nominees including Julia Roberts as the high strung distrusting mom, Ethan Hawke in laid back vacation dad mode driving her nuts, and Mahershala Ali who tries to remain diplomatically cool as a cucumber despite the rising tensions. Kevin Bacon gets a fun pop in as a nearby gruff doomsday prepper living his best life in the chaos. The film was written and directed by Sam Esmail, the creator of the technocentric thriller Mr. Robot, a show I have not seen but critics and my friend Josh incessantly say is very good. His script uses the situation to examine the chaotic and untrusting base nature of humanity and the fragility of the order of society. For my money, this film has the best camera movements of the year with all sorts of fun dollies and cool rotating crane shots. I deeply respect the move. Netflix is paying for it, flip that rig around a bit.
Tess Thought (33): Kind of loved it, kind of hated the ending.
25. Shortcomings
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
Actor Randall Park's directorial debut, adapting a graphic novel by cartoonist Adrian Tomine who also wrote the screenplay, received a warm reception at Sundance before being purchased for a very limited theatrical release from Sony. Hopefully it can find new life on the crowded Netflix rom-com landscape as it is a positively delightful change of pace. I am a sucker for an endearing little piece of shit protagonist and Justin H. Min’s Ben is one for the ages. They really baited the hook on this one by bestowing upon him the insufferable slacker pretentiousness of a cinephile to boot. He even works at a little arthouse movie theater with Ned from Spider-Man when he’s not sitting on his couch watching old movies. Sherry Cola is a hoot as Ben’s lesbian best friend who helps him navigate his rocky love life when his longtime girlfriend (Ally Maki) puts their relationship on pause while she heads to New York for a 3 month internship. Min’s natural charisma gives Ben just enough charm that you root for him to figure his shit out even though he’s a bit of a self absorbed dick.
Tess Thought (45): Umbrella Academy season 4 premieres August 8th.
24. Ferrari
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 72%
Where to Watch: Available for Rental
Director Michael Mann is 80 years old and still at the top of his game. Here he delivers another of his patented portraits of a highly skilled professional with a tumultuous personal life. Adam Driver is fantastic as Enzo Ferrari, a dogged professional seeking perfection out of his drivers and engineers but sloppy and haunted by loss in his personal life. Penelope Cruz is even better as his spitfire wife Laura who is more than fed up with his shit. Shailene Woodley sounds about as Italian as you would expect from someone named Shailene Woodley as his mistress Lina. The racing action is simply impeccable. You can feel the tight turns in your chest. There is a crash scene in this that is about as harrowing as anything I have seen put to screen.
Tess Thought (30): I hate cars but I do enjoy a nice car movie every now and again.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 96%
Where to Watch: Available for Rental
This French Best Picture nominee is a gripping courtroom drama that becomes more a dissection of a marriage than the death that ended it. There are great performances throughout but none better than from the dog Messi who was robbed of a best supporting nod. Director/co-writer Justine Triet does a great job of not tipping her hand at any point leaving the audience to parse what may have actually happened to cause the husband of a German novelist to fall out an attic window. I’m not sure how many liberties are taken or if the French legal system really is bonkers. People are constantly talking over each other and whole passages from fiction books are read as evidence at one point. The most important legal outcome is “P.I.M.P” by 50 Cent exonerates itself from the shame of usage in Expend4bles by having a deafening steel drum instrumental cover be crucial to the riveting case.
Tess Thought (18): In complete awe of the goodest boy.
22. Bottoms
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime
Ayo Edebiri had one hell of a 2023. She appeared in 4 movies in the top 30 here, made two appearances on America’s favorite sitcom Abbott Elementary, and picked up a well deserved Emmy for her supporting work on Hulu’s acclaimed series The Bear. Here she stars alongside fellow rising star Rachel Sennott as two desperate to get laid lesbians in a surreal high school satire that plays like Booksmart set in the Beau Is Afraid universe where the feelings that high school centers all around the football team and cheerleaders becomes the reality to an absurdist degree. Director Emma Seligman is kind of operating in the dark comedy Heathers realm but with more genuine laugh out loud moments from her script co-written with Sennott. Marshawn Lynch steals the show as the girls’ history teacher and faculty advisor for their self defense/fight club they logically start to attract their unrequited crushes.
Tess Thought (6): Heck of time to be Ayo Edebiri!
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 99%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Starz
Writer/director Kelly Fremon Craig follows up The Edge of Seventeen with another top of the line coming of age tale, this time for the junior high set. The 3 generation tandem of actresses, Abby Ryder Forston as puberty approaching Margaret, Rachel McAdams as her mother, and Kathy Bates as her Jewish grandmother are positively perfect in this. Though the film is set in 1970, the year Judy Blume’s iconic novel was first published, the core story feels timeless. The period setting allows for some absolute jams from The Band, Cat Stevens, and Stevie Wonder to organically appear on the soundtrack. The film does a phenomenal job depicting the trials and tribulation of an especially confusing time in most people’s lives, those early teen years when you are very much still a child but first start to think you're a grown up and yearn for maturity you may not yet be ready for.
Tess Thought (15): Somehow forgot this story actually does deal a lot with religion.
20-11: Man, I Knew Women Were Good. I Been Sayin’ That Shit The Whole Time, Man
20. Creed III
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime
Lead actor Michael B. Jordan goes full Stallone and hops in the director’s chair for the first time. Jordan, inspired by his love for anime, comes out swinging with the most stylized fight sequences in the now 9 film long Rocky saga. The script by Zach Baylin and Keenan Coogler really embraces and elevates the soapy roots of the original sequels. This time Adonis Creed must step into the ring against a former friend who grew dangerously resentful after spending half his life locked up in a cell watching someone else live his life. No offense to the electric menacing scowl of Mr. T but, disgraceful personal conduct aside, Jonathan Majors is the best actor to portray an antagonist in the series since the electric charm of the late great Carl Weathers gave life to Apollo Creed. Major’s Damien is a truly menacing figure that is somehow always doing pull ups. Every time I watched the trailer I got more and more convinced this absolutely yoked brawler was going to pound Adonis into absolute dust.
Tess Thought (19): I don’t know that I can watch this again now that Jonathan Majors has decided to hit people in real life. :(
19. Rye Lane
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 98%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Hulu
This vibrantly paletted British independent film is my favorite romantic comedy since 2020’s Palm Springs. There is nothing too crazy or inventive premise wise, just two charming leads that bounce off each other well in a well told story. The audience more or less just hangs out with them on a hijinx filled day as the pair get to know one another. Yas gets the high strung Dom to loosen up a bit, he gets her to drop her facade of coolness. Director Raine Allen-Miller inserts some fun stylized cutaways and flashbacks in the mix. It’s got the whacky supporting characters you look for in these types of stories and one of the greatest albums of all time, A Tribe Called Quest’s The Low End Theory plays a critical role in the plot. As a Beastie Boys and skate video enthusiast I enjoyed Allen-Miller’s extensive fish eye lens usage that gives the proceedings a unique look. It’s a right good time innit.
Tess Thought (16): Simply lovely and beautifully done.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 96%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Hulu
In a fantastic bit of magical realism a screenwriter seeking inspiration takes a trip to visit his childhood home only to find his parents still there just as they were prior to their untimely deaths in the late 80’s. Alongside frequent stops to visit with his somehow alive and unaged parents the writer has a budding romance with a handsome young neighbor (Paul Mescal) from his lightly populated high rise. Loosely adapting a Japanese novel, writer/director Andrew Haigh uses the premise for an insightful exploration of grief and loss. Andrew Scott is phenomenal in the lead role ruminating on things unsaid and what could have been as his character begins to open up to these figures after closing himself off for so long. Between this and Aftersun, there has emerged a general rule of thumb that if you’re not trying to end up gutted, keep Paul Mescal the hell away from your wistful pondering of your complicated past. You certainly can’t take him to a night club during it.
Tess Thought (10): I expect one of these from Paul Mescal annually.
17. Asteroid City
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 75%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime
Wes Anderson has long been one of my favorite filmmakers with his distinct visual style and voice consistently producing the finest quirky and melancholic comedies of the last 30 years. In a great bit, his most widely released and commercially promoted film is also arguably his most inaccessible. As meticulously crafted as any previous Anderson, he couches the typical artificiality of his staging with a meta portrayal of a tv special about a stage play. Within the multilayered story he explores humanity’s and especially artists’ collective need to find meaning in an increasingly chaotic world. Almost all Anderson’s recurring collaborators except Bill Murray are present in the sprawling cast and Tom Hanks joins the fold amicably for a supporting role. Silly bits like singing cowboys, real estate vending machines, and a claymation alien mix with exploration of existential dread throughout. There’s sudden loss, grief and even the trying circumstances of a quarantine touched upon. I can’t quite put my finger on precisely what the film’s profound sounding refrain of “You can't wake up if you don't go to sleep” means but I think that’s a bit of the point. To me, the film posits that artists themselves don't always necessarily know what their work means but rather that it serves as an outlet for working through overwhelming emotions they can't quite articulate. Sometimes life is just overwhelming and you just have to make something to get through and move your story along even if it won’t make sense of it all.
Tess Thought (79): I don’t get it. Aesthetically nice though.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 96%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Paramount+
Tom Cruise continues his old man crusade against automation and algorithms started in Top Gun: Maverick. It was wise to have marathoned the series just prior to our viewing as the 7th entry in the long running saga is a bit of a throwback to the start of the series with Henry Czerny’s Kittridge, a fight atop a train and De Palma style dutch angles all coming back in a big way. Perhaps a consequence of being the first part of a two part story, but this adventure is not quite as smooth and exhilarating as the nearly flawless previous edition Fallout but Christopher McQuarrie’s third turn at the helm still produces some elite set pieces. This go around some of the action is given an invigorating mix of slapstick. The highlight of these scenes is a car chase involving a notably bad driver in a vehicle not particularly built for high speeds. Cruise continues to show off his elite camera ready running form while Hayley Atwell, Shea Whigham and Pom Klementieff are great additions to the sprawling ensemble.
Tess Thought (17): This is cinema.
15. Poor Things
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 92%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Hulu
Emma Stone reunites with The Favourite’s director Yorgos Lanthimos, screenwriter Tony Mcnamara and cinematographer Robbie Ryan’s fisheye lens for a whacked out and decidedly adult fairytale loosely adapted from a Scottish novel. The premise of an infant brain being placed in the body of a recently deceased woman’s body allows Stone to devour a meaty Flowers for Algernon role where she gets to play the full spectrum from a doddering toddler to a philosophising intellectual as Bella Baxter rapidly learns and experiences all the world has to offer. Stone is at her comedic best, really nailing the erratic personality and stilted mannerisms of a toddler still developing motor skills in the opening black and white portion. The film looks phenomenal with a bright Terry Gilliam by way of Bram Stoker’s Dracula Victorian world full of blimps and pastel skies. It sounds just as great as it looks with a whacky off kilter score to match. Mark Ruffalo is hilarious as an absolute loser lothario lawyer with a goofy put upon high society voice. Listen, Willem Dafoe is a disfigured mad scientist that has mechanical burps, there was no way this was not cracking my top 20.
Tess Thought (53): If it had been anyone other than Emma Stone I think I might’ve hated it. Some very cool frames and I actually did have some chuckles (it helped that the guy in front of us was stomping his feet he was laughing so hard) but ultimately not for me.
14. May December
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
From acclaimed director Todd Haynes comes a twisty riff on the infamous Mary Kay Letourneau story. I thought the audio mix was messed up at first but Julianne Moore is doing a wild lisp as the predatory woman Gracie Atherton that 23 years ago had an affair with her 13 year old pet shop coworker. Natalie Portman plays a Hollywood actress coming to interact with the family to do research for her upcoming role portraying Gracie. The deeper she dives into finding the inner workings of the character, the more cracks put in the fairly mundane suburban life Gracie and her victim turned husband Joe established. Charles Melton gives one of the best and most heartbreaking performances of the year as the man child stunted into perpetual adolescence by his trauma. Haynes and screenwriter Sammy Burch perfectly marries the pulpy sensationalism of Portman trying to crack the mind of a predator and the internal crisis Melton suffers as he reckons with the weight of 20 years of “domestic bliss” built on the foundation of a tabloid scandal.
Tess Thought (11): Forget Margot Robbie, Charles Melton was hands down the biggest Oscar snub of the year in my humble opinion. His physicality blew me away. The way he bumbled around - it truly felt like he was frozen in time as a 13 year old boy.
13. Barbie
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Max
Like The Lego Movie before it, Gerta Gerwig’s film takes a big budget toy commercial and turns it into a hilarious existential exploration of self discovery. Where The Lego Movie tackled business stifling creativity, this time Gerwig takes on the patriarchy and the difficulties of existing as a woman within its structures. The script penned by Gerwig and her husband Noah Baumbach is full of meta-commentary on a product with a lengthy and decidedly mixed legacy. The narrative experiences some tonal whiplash at times as it bites off just a smidge more than it can chew but has enough laughs, jams, and genuine feels to carry it through. I’m sure there was some level of capitulation to certain corporate demands from Mattel who themselves are inserted into the story in an odd Will Ferrell led subplot but not enough to too drastically throw off the vibes. Ryan Gosling further cements his status as the greatest movie star of his generation of leading men with an all time brilliant comedic performance. I will beach off any member of the Academy that denies Ken his best original song Oscar for the showstopping “I’m Just Ken.” Outside of Gosling production designer Sarah Greenwood and set designer Katie Spencer are the film’s MVP’s creating a vivid world of pink and plastic.
Tess Thought (8): Ryan Gosling’s “I love fringe” shimmy will live rent-free in my mind until the end of time. Give the man his Oscar. (You won’t.) But please.
12. The Killer
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
Director David Fincher gets back in his bread and butter thriller lane after branching out a bit with Mank. Michael Fassbender stars as an unnamed nihilistic The Smiths addicted assassin who, rattled by botching a job for the first time, deals with the consequences of his mistake. Via internal monologue, Fassbender repeats all sorts of mantras and rules that make the killer good at what he does as the audience watches him ignore each and every piece of this time tested advice. Starting with an extended Rear Window scene of the killer waiting patiently and preparing for his mark, the film has some great professionalism porn ala Mike Ehrmantraut in Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul where Fincher shows the steps of a meticulous plan put together and carefully, clinically executed. This is deliciously paired with a lot of dark comedy reminiscent of Barry, including Mr. Hot Shot Blends In Anywhere, Detail Oriented Assassin using well known sitcom characters as his various aliases. Along those same less than professional lines, there is a great sloppy brawl with a roided out Floridian. John Wick, Fassbender’s hit man is not.
Tess Thought (31): This should’ve been in theaters.
11. BlackBerry
Rotten Tomatoes score: 98%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Hulu, an extended miniseries version is on AMC+
Director/co-writer/supporting actor Matt Johnson tells the tale of the rise and fall of the BlackBerry smartphone and in the process gifts the world the Canadian version of The Social Network. Johnson shoots on handheld which gives the whole retelling a fly on the wall feel. I loved the brilliant FXX TV series Man Seeking Woman yet I am confident in saying Jay Baruchel does the best work of his career as the nerdy socially awkward engineer/company co-founder that slowly sells out everything he ever believed in and those he cares about as he becomes corrupted by big business. The real star of the show however is that corrupting influence, Glenn Howerton. Glenn, as It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia viewers have long known, is the golden god of on screen yelling and Johnson lets him absolutely cut loose. At one point he delivers an expletive ridden tirade to NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. In a just world he would at the very least be an Oscar nominee. Thankfully Howerton and the other Always Sunny creators already expressed their thoughts on award voting bodies:
Tess Thought (9): He is untethered and his range knows no bounds!!! Untethered Dennis is my favorite!
10-1: Brothers in Arms
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 98%
Where to Watch: Nowhere currently! As a Japanese release it’s studio doesn’t have any firm partnership with American streamers. Typically a home video release will happen there first to avoid imports of cheaper American blu-rays. Look for it to potentially come out sometime late in the year.
I was a big Godzilla guy growing up, renting all the old rubber suit movies from Blockbuster, waiting with bated breath for the 1998 Roland Emmerich abomination, and demanding tie in toys to match. I didn't exactly latch on to the allegorical implications that birthed this cultural titan but rather just enjoyed when he beats up other monsters. For the most part the recent American series has stuck to this baser bashing kaiju appeal of the big guy. This latest release from Japanese Toho studios on the other hand, returns Godzilla to his roots as a symbolic figure of unspeakable terror. This go round Godzilla is not here to defend people from a three headed space dragon, he is once again a horrific force of nature created by the folly of man without reason hellbent only on destruction. His roars have never echoed deeper. The atomic breath has never looked so awe inspiring, particularly in his powering up stage as his fins fire up and begin their radioactive glow. The experience is all the more harrowing as writer/director/special effects supervisor Takashi Yamazaki goes to great lengths to make the audience deeply care about the ragtag human cast that must face this seemingly unstoppable adversary. The lead is a disgraced failed kamikaze pilot who is haunted by crippling survivor’s guilt in post WWII japan. Just as this tragic figure starts to rebuild his life with a makeshift family and a fulfilling job with newfound bros like the adorable naval engineer Doc on a minesweeper boat, a giant radioactive lizard reminder of his past shortcomings surfaces to wreak havoc. The epic showdown that ensues more than earns its right to bust out the epic original "Godzilla Suite."
Tess Thought (14): Sometimes I forgot to read the subtitles and was just going off vibes. And they were immaculate.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 95%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Amazon Prime & Paramount+
Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen’s attachment as producers and contributing screenwriters had me stoked when this project was first announced, viewing director Jeff Rowe’s immaculate animated feature debut The Mitchells vs The Machines only fanned the flames of anticipation, and by the time the first trailer dropped I was fully ablaze with fervent excitement. Somehow it manages to live up to those expectations as if the remaining fragments of my adolescent mind conjured the film themselves. ODB, De La Soul, and Tribe Called Quest on the soundtrack, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross do the score, the animation looks like notebook sketches brought to vibrant life, John Cena, a skateboarding gecko voiced by Paul Rudd, high flying ninja action with a touch of slapstick that would please Splinter’s voice actor Jackie Chan, it's all there. There’s a fight scene full of match cuts as the 4 turtles brawl across various seedy locales set to “No Diggity” that is one of the best animated sequences I’ve ever seen. They finally let the turtles be played by actual teens for the first time ever. The Bob’s Burgers approach to voice recording where the actors all record in a room together leads to fruitful riffs from the youths as they are excitedly and endearingly talk over each other. Cowabunga indeed.
Tess Thought (21): All fun and games until Winnie waltzed into the crosshairs of my nephews slinging ooze and I got to wash green, sticky gunk out of her fro. (My least favorite of the free movie giveaways this year.)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 82%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Disney+
Writer/director James Gunn puts the bow on his signature series before bolting for DC full time and delivers easily the best Marvel movie since Avengers: Endgame. Part of the film’s success is that it sidesteps some implications of its larger MCU franchise obligations to instead deliver a fairly standalone poignant story with a surprising lead in talking space racoon, Rocket. Academy Award thirster Bradley Cooper gives his finest performance of the year lending gravitas and emotional resonance to the laser gun toting rodent. Chukwudi Iwuji’s High Evolutionary is definitely the best villain in the expansive saga since Thanos. The sadistic alien geneticist villain bumps this to being the darkest entry in the saga but it still contains lots of signature laughs. It may be the fact that it’s soundtracked by “No Sleep Til Brooklyn” but a late fight sequence might be the best single set piece Marvel has ever produced. Gunn manages to rein in a flashbacks and side plot heavy 2.5 hours to give a satisfying conclusion to many characters’ arcs while throwing entertaining new misfits like Will Poulter’s Adam Warlock into the mix. No surprise after Vol. 2’s Cat Stevens soundtracked funeral dirge that Gunn can work the emotional dial almost as well as his Troma honed disgusting monster knob.
Tess Thought (4): Drax the dad:
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 95%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Netflix
Even after experiencing the ocular wonder of the Academy Award winning Into the Spiderverse, it is simply unfathomable how cool the animation is in this sequel. Every variant of Spider-Man gets its own distinct art style. A stunning opening sequence reveals Spider-Gwen lives in a beautiful watercolor inspired world. There’s a fight against a Leonardo Davinci sketch version of a villain, a doodle villain, and a Spider-Man straight out of a punk zine. I can’t begin to fathom what meetings at the other major animation studios went like after Sony dropped this bad boy. I can only hazard guesses to the exasperation and helpless befuddlement that came across faces as these studio workers pondered even trying to match this visual splendor. Based on reports that came out from its production, they may get a heaping helping of labor complaints were they to even try. Other than those potentially dubious production practices, the only real knock against the film is the story is not nearly as tight as Into’s perfectly told story of self discovery. This narrative is very much a part one of a two part story ending on one helluva cliff hanger. While frustrating to wait until a still undetermined date for its concluding half, it does provide ample opportunity to soak in all the details packed into each frame upon sure to be countless rewatches.
Tess Thought (3): These are just amazing and perfect, and you think they can’t do it again and then they do it again. Can’t wait for the next one.
6. Past Lives
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 96%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Paramount+ and Showtime
Playwright Celine Song makes her triumphant feature film debut with a semi-autobiographical tale about a Korean writer named Nora whose family immigrated to Canada when she was 12, leaving her girlhood crush behind in Seoul. The story takes place across 24 years with a stop every dozen years when the pair briefly reconnects, first over social media and video calls, and later in person in New York City. The direction is superb with some really nice slow pans and dollies as characters move across the screen and long takes for extended dialogue exchanges. It is also a movie where I really noticed it was shot on film and am forced to ponder how digital can ever hope to capture that ethereal warmth that emanates from well shot celluloid. The film explores the Korean concept of “in-yun” that any interaction in our current lives is the result of ripples from interactions from our past lives. It’s a unique kind of bittersweet love story brought to emotionally complex life by rich performances from Greta Lee as Nora, Teo Yoo as the shy Hae Sung, and John Magaro as Nora’s winsomely bookish husband she fell deeply in love with between Hae Sung crossings. The whole concept and experience is quite reflective. Unlike Spider-Man or Michelle Yeoh, we don't live in a reality with access to a multiverse. You can wonder what may have been with all these sliding door moments in your life but never truly know how different decisions or opportunities may have rippled out beyond the path you follow.
Tess Thought (2): I need to watch this again. And again.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 97%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Peacock
Kudos to director Alexander Payne, writer David Hemingson and the whole production crew on this one because they are so thoroughly beyond the evocative powers of a typical period film that it genuinely feels like you are discovering a forgotten classic of the holiday season. The only thing it captures better than the feel of the Hal Ashby (Harold and Maude, The Last Detail) style character study driven comedies of the early 70’s is the melancholy that underpins the holiday season. Vince Guaraldi would eat this shit up. In this house, we have seen Big Fat Liar, so we have long known Paul Giamatti is a megastar but he really flexes on this one as the prickly history teacher surrounded by troglodyte high schoolers he seemed born to play. Da’vine Joy Randolph gives an understated heartbreaking performance as the school cook and grieving mother. Dominic Sessa, in his very first film role, walks away with the picture as the little piece of shit smartass high schooler you can't help but find endearing. Happenstance leaves the trio alone at a New England boarding school for the 1970 holiday break where they each learn more about the others and it all coalesces to form what should be a timeless seasonal favorite for years to come.
Tess Thought (7): And here I thought Fred Claus would forever be my favorite Paul Giamatti Christmas movie. Wrong.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
Where to Watch: Available for Rental
Professional wrestling is an industry riddled with untimely demises and bodies battered by its brutal lifestyle. As a casual wrestling fan I was loosely familiar with the Von Erich family but did not grasp the true scope of their tragedy that even the film sands down. In the biggest Oscar snub of the year Zac Efron goes without a nomination for an emotionally gripping, physically demanding, career defining performance as the eldest Von Erich brother. His work is all the more impressive given that it occurs while he was quite visibly juiced to the gills with a cocktail of dubiously legal supplements and growth hormones strong enough that they appear to have changed his very facial structure. Holt McCallany’s turn as abusive, domineering father, Fritz Von Erich is one of the greatest monsters ever put to screen and also went unacknowledged by the Academy. Director Sean Durkin consistently shoots McCallany from these low angles where his hulking frame casts a vast dark shadow over the whole proceedings. There is a palpable bond up on screen between these tragic brothers and it is positively devastating to see them each torn to bits by the relentless pursuit of a dream that isn't even their own.
Tess Thought (5): Coincidentally/accidentally sat next to someone from work so I had to really carefully choke back my sobs. I was so fully entranced and immersed in this brotherhood until tragedy struck in real life and I dropped my 44 oz soft drink in my lap.
3. Oppenheimer
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Peacock
Of course Mr. Temporal Pincer Movement, Christopher Nolan, would grab an awards fare historical biopic and decide you know what, how about we juggle traveling concurrently along three different timelines? As a master filmmaker he somehow plus this off, effectively visualizes quantum physics, and maintaining propulsive tension across an expansive 3 hour run time. Everyone is in this movie and they’re all delivering top tier work. Cillian Murphy will and should win best actor for his lead performance as J. Robert Oppenheimer, “the father of the atomic bomb.” Those sunken haunted eyes were made to play this role as a wishy washy guy consumed by the unending intrusive thoughts of a singularly gifted mind in a world where “theory can only go so far.” Oppenheimer is shown to be a man with a streak of moral ineptitude but as he states, “Brilliance makes up for a lot” and makes him a compelling figure. Robert Downey Jr. earned a worthy supporting actor nod as US Atomic Energy Commission member Lewis Strauss, an equally ego driven foil. The score and sound design in this movie is incredible, never more so than in a harrowing scene where Oppenheimer faces a rapturous flag waving crowd and begins to fully reckon with the totality of the consequences of what he had just accomplished. Both Oppenheimer and Strauss come to grapple with the fact that the heights that hubris can bring you to only set you up for a further fall when you let it run unchecked.
Tess Thought (12): I think my favorite thing about Christopher Nolan movies is the sound. The only word I can think of is mesmerizing. Even when I can’t hear the dialogue I don’t care. My heart is racing and I am glued to the screen.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Apple TV+
Like the non-fiction book on which it was based, this film was originally planned to focus on the lawmen that brought some resolution to the Osage Murders. Instead writer/director Martin Scorsese and his co-writer Eric Roth make a fruitful pivot to instead tell the blood soaked grimey bleak story of America itself. Robert DeNiro, dusts off any semblance of check cashing induced rust to play a devilish embodiment of the predatory rich and powerful conniving to get an even bigger slice of their already hoarded pie. They white wash their dirty deeds with selective philanthropy and feigned benevolence. They take advantage of the poor and ignorant who can be manipulated by their own greed and illusions of joining the favored class. “I do love that money sir.” The system breeds an enclave of scheming sociopaths that will turn on each other on or for a dime. The victims in their wake are nothing but abridged footnotes in their grand autobiographies. Lily Gladstone gives a heartbreaking performance as an Osage woman named Mollie who never stands a chance, twice marginalized by her womanhood and native heritage. Her love and trust in others is punished at every turn. Leonardo DiCaprio gives a career best performance going full dullard with a bulldog underbite as the dimbulb Ernest Burkhart who finds himself central to a sprawling murder filled plot to rob the Osage people of their rightful oil money. Despite consistently doing the wrong thing and acting only in whatever best suits his self interest from moment to moment, Ernest deludes himself of his underlying good nature with commitment to the great Costanzian philosophy: “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
Tess Thought (13): Going in, I truly thought I would get a 206 minute nap. To my surprise, I was actually captivated for nearly the entirety of the runtime. Great characters, great performances, great world building.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 94%
Where to Watch: Streaming on Starz
Around the third guy John Wick pummeled with nunchucks I started to wonder how any action movie could ever top this. By the time director Chad Stahelski got to busting out an overhead crane shot oner featuring fireball firing shotguns, it seemed like it would be downright blasphemous for anyone to even try. 10 years ago, the smoothly shot and choreographed action of the original John Wick redefined the genre in an era of cheap cut happy Taken knockoffs. Each subsequent entry has upped the ante expanding the singular world and the majesty of the set pieces. This installment features multiple sequences that alone contain as much top tier balletic combat as can be found in the entirety of other action film series (Looking at you Expendables). This chapter brings martial arts legend Donnie Yen into the fold as a blind sword wielding assassin colleague of Wick’s. You bet your ass he throws some Ip Man punches. Direct to video action god Scott Adkins is bouncing around throwing bone shattering roundhouse kicks while wearing a hefty fat suit to go full Sammo Hung. Stahelski stages a fight in the roundabout at the Arc de Triumph while cars buzz around and through combatants. There is a sisyphean fight up an endless staircase set to the epic pounding beats of Justice. Each sequence is immaculately lit, staged, and shot. Throughout his illustrious career philistines would cherry pick clips devoid of context to accuse Keanu Reeves of being a wooden actor. Here the detachment of his stilted speech is not an indictable offense but rather a character tic of a man who has grown weary of this world. He courts a worthy and honorable death. Unfortunately he is simply too damn good at kicking ass to be unburdened of the agony of life on this mortal plane without the deceased love of his life. Wick’s noble quest to find his final peace feels like a Shakespeare penned spaghetti western. Walking out of this near 3 hour masterpiece, I nearly wept as there were no more worlds left for motion pictures to conquer.
Tess Thought (1): Perfection. Do not blink even for one second because you WILL miss something cool.
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